Pieclopedia

Dutch Apple Pie

   Dutch Apple Pie is like standard Apple Pie, only much tastier. The Dutch Apple takes pie to a whole new level of goodness. Whatever slice you've been eyeballin' in the pie case, odds are that the Dutch Apple looks twice as good.
   Katie Holmes (Dawson's Creek) is the epitome of Dutch Apple. She's a hot little slice steamin' fresh out of the oven. Have you ever watched her on Dawson's Creek? Whenever she pulls her hair away from her eyes I have to sit down and catch my breath. My friends and I boycotted that show for the first season because that moron Dawson was going after the blonde slut instead of Katie. And nobody could blame us. What a tard.

   And who could forget Natalie Portman (Star Wars, The Professional)? It seemed like an eon before she became of age (and before I felt like the world's youngest dirty old man). She has this natural beauty quality about her that just exudes Dutch Apple. Also, Ms. Portman is quite the intelligent slice as well. She has already been accepted to Harvard and Yale. Whomever they cast to play Anakin in the rest of the Star Wars films is a lucky man (Anikin and Queen Amidala will be gettin' it on in Ep 2).
   Dutch Apple is usually the hardest pie to get your hands on, because usually whatever slice you want is taken. But if you can get your hands on this delicacy, do so. And savor the moment.