So if you’re wondering why the posts have been so sparse the last few days, it’s because I’ve been home sick with the flu. Now I’m normally not a puss when it comes to illnesses, but this one hit me kinda hard. I didn’t really realize how hard until I sucked it up yesterday, and went to work because we’re on some pretty rough deadlines. Sadly, the office is a fucking icebox and I apparently made the situation way, way worse.
So today I stayed home, tried to get some R & R in before the weekend. I passed out somewhere around noonish, due to exhaustion and the copious amounts of nighttime flu medication in my system. I had drank at least five tall glasses of water prior to passing out, so at least I’d be properly hydrated during my slumber.
…or so I thought. I woke up at 4:30, feeling like I had to piss like a racehorse. So I got up to use the can, and as I stood there draining fluids out of me I started to feel incredibly lightheaded. I’ve never really been dehydrated before, but I immediately realized that my decreasing grip on reality was directly proportional to the amount of pee that I was emptying into the toilet.
So naturally, I finished up as fast as I could, and ran to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. No bottles left, so I nabbed the Brita filter thingy and attempted to raise it to my lips. I got about an ounce of water into my mouth when my legs started to wobble, and I put my head on the counter. I fumbled around above me, hoping to magically open the cabinet and retrieve a tall drinking glass, but alas, it was going to be more of a battle than that. So I lifted my head, defiant to the illness, and reached for the cupboard. That’s when the legs completely gave out, and I began my descent towards the cold kitchen floor. And as I plummeted to the tile, I still had the mental capacity to realize that I might need to pop out a final cry of anger and disdain, so I went with the one thing that made me angriest today:
“Wiiiiiiiiiiiiii!” (wheee)
Damn right. If I’m going down, I’m going down cursing Nintendo for tarnishing my childhood. Thankfully I was able to muster up the strength to get up, pour myself a dozen glasses of water, and subsequently sweat more than a marathon runner on crystal meth.
So yeah, I’m thinking a doctor visit is in order.
Ur screwedYou have all the classic symptoms on H5N1 Bird Flu..Congrats on being the first American to get it, up till now only 3rd World and yes, 4th World Hard-Pressed have come down with it. No known cure yet due to lack of research funds, TamaFlu is helpfull, if you can find it. Im surprised a healthy…KickAss Dude like you could get infected, have you had any of the following?:A. Been out of the Country seeking On-Line Bride?B. Had sex with a Migrating Bird Species?C. Ate the Crap of a small Farm Worker?D. Use of second hand Sex Toys?E. Direct relationship with dead animal?
soooTap water not good enough for you? Bottled water being consumed by someone claiming to be a badass? Say it ain’t so!
bahtap water is for pussies. i drink straight rainwater from my old moldy wooden barrel.
bahwhoa, that should be an option F for the first post. and just because he’s badass doesn’t mean he’s sick, he’s just suffering from Gods wrath, anyone else would be down in hell sucknig bunions.
longwindedWow… couldn’t you just say \”I fell down\”? That was some serious literary over-kill there, Mickey Spilane!