The Opposite Of A Christmas Miracle

Anybody catch even a few minutes of that Jessica Simpson (just updated the gallery, btw) Christmas special (note that I don’t mention whatshisface) last night? I was randomly flipping around, and I catch a glimpse of her. So I stop for a second (naturally) and she’s doing some lame-ass skit where she sticks her tongue out and gets it stuck to a light pole. Then Nick comes out and starts chastizing her, because he warned her not to “lick” the “pole”.

…get it? Because he doesn’t ever get her to… to lick his… it’s funny. It’s funny because…

Yeah. That’s where I changed the channel. I liked that they kept the “Santa” facade going for the kids, but talking about tongues and poles is appropriate. Honestly, Sonny and Cher used to pull shitty skits like this, and look at what God did to Sonny. Take a lesson from his sacrifice, you heathens!

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By Sharkey

I run bamf.

1 comment

  1. Oh?I would have thought it better if he would’ve said, \”No no, not that way. Use your tongue more…\”After all, Nick is a bonafide pole licker himself.

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