The Joy of Public Urination

Some people will tell you baseball is our National Pastime. Our naptime, if you will. Other people laugh at these people and say it’s football. We can all laugh at people who think soccer is even a sport.

Nay, they are all wrong (except for those of us who laugh at soccer). Public Urination is indeed our National Pastime.

It’s not a privilege; it’s not a right; it’s a fucking doodie, I mean duty!

What greater joy is there than unzipping one’s pants in broad daylight in order to partake in the warm pleasure of a golden stream darkening and scenting ground that will be seen–and almost as importantly, smelled–by numerous passers-by. I say there is none!

Chicago Cubs fans know all about public urination (as does Southsider Raygun). They are perhaps the scholarly experts on the subject: technique, history, social significance. They know so much about it the city had to pass a law limiting the dissemination of such knowledge via graphic display.

Swearing is legal, but pissing on brick is not. Go figure.

14 comments

  1. werd.there is a new law that says if anyone sees you pissing on something, you could go to jail. fuk dat.

  2. A TributeShit piss fuck cunt cocksucker motherfucker tits fart turd and twat.Shit piss fuck cunt cocksucker motherfucker tits fart turd and twat.Shit piss fuck cunt cocksucker motherfucker tits fart turd and twat.Shit piss fuck cunt cocksucker motherfucker tits fart turd and twat…I fucked your mom!

  3. Shit, neegaI dont think many people will debate you about how shitty it would be to walk outside and find someone pissing on your porch, mailbox, etc.

  4. komodo dragon pissingA komodo dragon could piss the fuck all over a pitbull and then proceed to whup its ass. Thats some good piss-kickin.

  5. Soccer sucksSoccer is not a sport. It is not a sport unless it involves a stick of some sort (hockey, baseball, trap, etc.) or people getting hurt (football, Rugby, etc.)If you disagree, fuck off.

  6. I dropped your rating to 3.05You should have held off for one more month so that we’d have a full year between rants. It could have became a big annual thing. But you ruined like so many bricks I’m sure.

  7. bahNice first try chudsucker. But you’re in the hotseat and capable of much much better.Besides it’s supposed to be a rant, not an ode to your favorite pastime.

  8. HahaThose Cubs \”fans\” deserve to go to jail. These guys say they’re Cubs fans just so they can go to the ballpark and get drunk. I’m against this because the Cubs don’t deserve any money if they’re going to pay Sammy Sosa what they do.

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