UFOS to blame for power failures.
How much do ufologists get paid? Do they receive federal funding? If so, can America PLEASE HAVE ITS FUCKING MONEY BACK?!
Seriously, get this bastard a tin foil hat and ship him out to a trailer in the middle of New Mexico where he won’t make any television appearances within the near future.
Or maybe let him start a suicide cult. That’d be a quick and easy way of getting rid of some of the lunatics in this country. It’s time to thin out their numbers, damnit! This guy would draw followers like moths to a flame…like lemmings to a cliff…like Evercrackheads to Internet Cafes and Krispy Kreme donuts.