Parrot Blows A Perfectly Good Affair (thanks Dave)
The African grey parrot kept squawking “I love you, Gary” as his owner, Chris Taylor, sat with girlfriend Suzy Collins on the sofa of their shared flat in Leeds, northern England.
But when Taylor saw Collins’s embarrassed reaction, he realized she had been having an affair — meeting her lover in the flat whilst Ziggy looked on, the UK’s Press Association reported.
Ziggy even mimicked Collins’s voice each time she answered her telephone, calling out “Hiya Gary,” according to newspaper reports.
That’s a real kick in the balls. Not only are you dating a bitch who’s too stupid to cheat properly, but… the stupid bitch thinks poorly enough of you to fuck another man in your bed. Thankfully you’ve got your trusty parrot to help you through these hard times, right Chris?
Taylor said he had also been forced to part with Ziggy after the bird continued to call out Gary’s name and refused to stop squawking the phrases in his ex-girlfriend’s voice, media reports said.
“I still can’t believe he’s gone. I know I’ll get over Suzy, but I don’t think I’ll ever get over Ziggy.”
Oh… guess not.
Maybe if he’d spent more time making the bird listen to “Oh Chris” this wouldn’t be a problem. If it’s any consolation, most British chicks are ugly anyways, bad teeth or not. And… she probably had bad teeth to boot. Move to So Cal Chris, your accent will be “cute” here.
ksdljf\”Move to So Cal Chris, your accent will be \”cute\” here.\”excellent fuckin’ point. I see so many brits use their accent with the ladies. Not a difficult routine, but works almost every time.BTW, it’s TIRE, not TYRE
CMINice Curse of Monkey Island reference.
fuck you guysok british girls are ugly…..that is bollocks. you’ve obviously never watched hollyoaks ( a tv series over here.) i suggest you search for it and let me know if the majority of the cast are ugly. You seem to have quite a few english girls in your \”pie\” section. Cat Deeley,Ali Bastian, kate moss are in there, alongside the rest. It is a pure streotype that all British girls are ugly and the people have crooked teeth. Just because our government doesnt make braces as compulsory as actually going to school, doesnt mean we all have bent teeth. Anyway i read the story about the parrot, the guy is a fucking idiot. And, the English accent does work on american girls, they are suckers for it. American girls are too easy, they Jump at the first thing that resembles a cock.
before you answer…trying to be witty, i am not wholely a cock. I have one thats all.
Monkey IslandThat is the best oddball reference ever.