Thank You Internet, For Deciding That This Was Necessary

So in case you were wondering why the main page has gone from zero posts to every fucking post since the year 1969, which I can only assume is made possible by way of a time machine sometime in the near future. We can only hope that my knowledge of this post does not create a Timecop-style meltdown, and merely results in a Bill & Ted’s-esque comedic loop.

I was, dear reader, crippled by numerous factors when it came to resuscitating this bitch. For the sake of brevity, let’s try an unordered list:

• I’m incredibly lazy.
• For some reason, the software on the server broke and wouldn’t publish a damned thing.
• After a reinstall, it decided to publish every single post on the main page, and not listen to my demands to cease such shenanigans.
• Laziness, coupled with season finales of damned near everything I’ve been suckered into watching.
• More “don’t exist” messages delivered by the cosmos in the form of the BAMF server no longer allowing me direct access to any files. Apparently BAMF has decided that it likes existing as a gigantic 3Megabyte behemoth HTML file, chronicling thoughts derived as a result of my pathetic existence over the last… oh sweet Jesus… 8 or 9 years.
• I uh… I’m incredibly fucking busy. No joke, not like the last 8 or 9 years of “I say I’m busy but I’m just exceptional at appearing busy.” You’ll most likely benefit from the eventual emotional breakdown that I will suffer from the increasing tide of responsibility. With no new episodes of “Heroes” to geek out over, or “Lost” to sarcastically-yet-lovingly mock, I’ll be sobbing through an episode of “The Bachelor” by Wednesday. Not because I’d ever watch such a show (outside of clips on “The Soup”) but I’m going to need some sort of suspense and release.
• My new place is grand (oh I moved a couple of weeks ago) yet I lost the television in the divorce from my cousin/roommate. He gave me a check for $1100, which was very generous. I now have a 32″ tv in a room that is a foot deeper than the last place. Regaining that additional 30 inches of screen real estate is pretty much my brain’s full time job. You understand.

You know what’s funny? I was actually hired as a consultant recently for my expertise (no guff) with the software running this site, and yet there was a minute there where I actually considered that the tag broke the site. I’ve finally figured out a way to stop the insanity without uploading or editing any files. You can see the most recent post on the main page (for now) and any additional posts will be in the archive for May 2007. I pray to God that I’m not so lazy that we need to repost the link in June.