Testing the Laws of Physics in an Intoxicated State

Mofos, this is complete bullshit. I’ve done much dumber things whilst intoxicated and I never got my name in the paper.

An ambulance crew found a man bloody and unconscious. Officers began securing the crime scene and knocking on doors to find out if neighbors had seen or heard anything suspicious.

“The neighbors said the victim was intoxicated and wanted to see how far he could throw a brick into the air,” Gorman said. “He threw it up in the air a couple of times trying to get it higher.

“The last time he threw it up into the air, he lost sight of it because it was dark. It hit him in the back of the head.”

The only part I didn’t like about this story is that they never reveal how far he was actually able to propel the brick into the air, nor did they discuss the approximate size and whether or not the brick was re-pressed prior to firing. But, even with those shortcomings, the part where the brick hit him in the head was pretty good.

You see, your common “lay” civilian-type person would think that this experience signals the end of this particular drunkards physics experiments, and that person is wrong. After such a brilliant introduction to the power of gravity in an enlightened state, who wouldn’t have a keen interest in his physical surroundings? Do you have any idea how many powers of the universe need to come together to make this happen?

Me neither. But it was still pretty cool when the brick hit him on the head.