So I went to see Spider Man 2 again. Sober this time, because I wanted to make sure that my original assessment of the film was pure and untainted. I have to say that upon watching it a second time, I did like it a bit more. A lot of the dialogue that previously made me want to vomit now merely gave me gas. Much to the dismay of my seatmates, I might add.
There are still a couple of spoiler-free problems that I have with the flick, which I’m afraid I will have to discuss with you now. So sit down, maybe grab a cheese sandwich or something.
- Problem the first: Doctor Octopus is a normal dude with big mechanical arms. Spider-Man is a biologically enhanced man with enough strength to bench press a Buick. When Spider-Man punches regular people, he’s gotta take special care not to stuff his fist right into their grey matter. Trust me, it’s messy. Yet in this film, Spider-Man socks Doc Ock about 80 times, really really hard. Enough so that you can see him crush pieces of building when he misses. Had he been hitting Otto with even half that kind of power, 80 smacks to his merely human mug would have him looking slightly worse than the artists rendition to the right.
I’ve heard a lot of folks stating that perhaps his little inhibitor chip kept him from feeling pain. Even if this were true, he wouldn’t be able to spew that witty banter if his jaw were hanging down to his sternum. If they’d made the Doc super strong or something, I would have overlooked it. If he’d only been hit once or twice, again, I can suspend disbelief. But Spider-Man used to end his fights with Ock with a single punch, and I beleive on one occasion a flick of his finger. You can’t have the strongest guy in town socking Joe Schmo without spilling a few pints of blood.
- Problemo Numero Dos: The web to nowhere. At the end of the movie, Spidey swings away on what seems to be nothing whatsoever. Now, I would imagine from a later shot that he swings to this crane thats nearby, but there is no establishing shot to make you think that there’s anything but fucking river around them. Not to mention that he seems to be ascending as if carried by some sort of web-chopper. This is just bad directing, and I expect far better out of Sam Raimi.
I shouldn’t have to laugh out loud because a pivotal moment looks fucking ridiculous.
- Problemo the last, for now: The script. Who fucking wrote this drivel?
“I’m telling you, T.S. Eliot is more complicated than advanced science!!”
I fucking hate whoever did this. The man is attempting to sound like one of the smartest cookies on the planet for ten minutes, and you finalize his diatribe with something a three year old might say. I don’t know shit about poetry, but I certainly don’t tell anyone that it’s “more complicated than web… uh…. junk!” It just sounds stupid, especially coming from an advanced science… guy.
Well, like I said. I enjoyed it more the second time, but I’m still not feeling the Spidey fever that everyone else seems to be stricken with. And now I take my leave of you.
Hey….at least the special effects where better and the movie didnt make Spidey look like a fag like the first one did. Did anyone notice Dr. Connors, isnt he suppose the be missing a limb or something to you know make him do genetic experiments on himself *hint*?
PowersThe fact that Spidey’s powers went away because he \”decided\” not to be spider man anymore really bothered me.
GET OUTTA MY HEAD!!Dude, that’s so fucking crazy, I JUST came back from Spider-Man 2, and those were the EXACT three things I was complaining about when I left the theater….oh shit for a second there I thought somebody was portraying my thoughts on the net….I guess that’s what crack does to you….
Spuder-manWhen I left the theatre I was quite jaded. I complained about it and my girlfriend said \”You would have liked it better if you didn’t have expectations for it.\” That may be true, BUT THIS IS SPIDER-MAN THAT THEY’RE SCREWING WITH. I wouldn’t give a crap if they scraped the innards of a thousand homeless peoples butt cracks, slapped it on film and called it Daredevil 2 because it’s already been ruined for me. But, the first movie was great and they had the responsibility to at least match their prior efforts.Dangit, they’d better not screw up the next movie. Hobgoblin better make me wet my pants because he’s such a convincing villain, Toby better learn how to cry, and Kirsten… well… she’d better be in a tight wet-shirt again!And, yes, I meant to spell the subject that way.
PowersYeah, the \”losing\” his powers crap was pissing the me FUCK off. Such a load of shit that was. I mean, we get the point about CHOICE (that stupid fucking dream sequence was more than enough, thanks), we don’t need some bullshit about him losing his powers because of that choice. Such horseshit.
cool it guysThe movie was great, get over the nitpicking. How can you have a superhero movie WITHOUT all that crap? come the fuck on guys, its spiderman, it doesnt have to make sence.
P#3 and faces.So no one had a problem with Toby Maguier’s facial expressions? — Like when he attempts to jump across the 2 buildings, or when he is stopping the train. It annoied the people in front of me when I laughed outloud.Also, about your \”problem 3\” — I believe Doc Oct wwas tring to establish the theme that no matter how smart or good you are in one area, there is always an area where you are not the best. This would link up with Spidies \”main decision\” and also to his relationship with MJ.And I also must say that that screen director and storyboard artist owned all.
Um..I don’t mean to rain on everyone’s parade here, but two things.Number 1) Harry is NOT the Hobgoblin. He is the second Green Goblin, hence why you saw that set of armor. Don’t believe me? A trip to Spiderfan.org will set you straight.Number 2) Peter did not \”choose\” to lose his powers, though the movie made it seem that way. Way back in the first run of Amazing Spider-Man, in the issues before Gwen Stacy bit it and whatnot, Peter lost his powers because he got the flu, or a head cold, something to that effect. In an interview, Raimi stated how he liked that because it made Peter all that much more human, so he was playing off that. So I think that it wasn’t necessarily the \”choice\” bit, but it was more or less Peter being so stressed out that he started to lose his powers. Lame? Sure, but it’s better than \”oh, screw spider powers, bye\”.
Whoa…GET OUTTA MY HEAD!! – chisscrap (Lowly Newb) at QUOTING SHARKEY AND CHRISDUDEGUYHonestly, these must be some awfully glaring problems if three people on one web page complained about the same exact things. freaky, or dumb movie. take your pick.03:35:22 AM on 7/9/2004Dude, that’s so fucking crazy, I JUST came back from Spider-Man 2, and those were the EXACT three things I was complaining about when I left the theater….oh shit for a second there I thought somebody was portraying my thoughts on the net….I guess that’s what crack does to you….
drivel writerMichael Chabon wrote the drivel. He’s a comic lover, and he wrote a Pulitzer Prize winning novel called The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Klay. It’s a great book.
No one noticed these two problems?I was surprised that my friends and I seemed to be the only ones coming out of the theater disappointed after the movie, though we were upset for slightly different reasons:1) The sound editing in this movie absolutely sucked. When Harry picks up the dagger from the table toward the end, it makes the exact same sound as when he unsheaths it. Nails on a chalkboard to anyone paying attention.2) The subway scene was a complete mockery of the physics of motion. Doc Oc cannot throw spiderman ahead and have him accelerate into him from behind on the other side of the pedestrian bridge. Either Spidey needs to create a hell of a lot of air resistance and hit Doc Oc from the front, or he needs to land 3 cars up on the subway. The way it happened is just not logical.I’m not saying the three problems already stated aren’t significant, but they’re far from the only three to debate.
??the doc oc thing is a little annoying but your other points dont make sense. The script: its a friggin comicbook movie what were you expecting. its supposed to be about cool superpower stuff and some character development which I thought it had. the web to nowhere: u serious? and the infinite supply of web shooting out of his hand doesnt bother you? I think you went into the theater with the wrong mindset. try flipping thru the comic again.
villainsthey’re gonna suck until venom gets made the villain
That movie was great quite bitching.That movie was the best comic book movie of all time, and a really great movie on its own.Yes, the beating the crap out of Ock I agree with because Spidey can life cars for god’s sake.wtf. There were cranes in the next seen. It’s not hard to imagine him hitting for one of the cranes.That was a great script. Write a better on to prove me wrong.
That movie was great quite bitching.That movie was the best comic book movie of all time, and a really great movie on its own.Yes, the beating the crap out of Ock I agree with because Spidey can life cars for god’s sake.wtf. There were cranes in the next seen. It’s not hard to imagine him hitting for one of the cranes.That was a great script. Write a better on to prove me wrong.
commentwhat he means by the script was ock saying \”advanced science\” when he should be saying a bit more scientific (i dont know what branch of phsyics cold fusion is, so i dont know what term he should have said). imagine einstein saying \”you know, im really good at space-y science-y type things\”. ock’s dialouge was really annoying to me, but i guess its pretty tough to have inner-dialouge in a movie without talking to yourself. maybe voiceovers would have worked better
posersOHH! look at me! I hate the new nerd movie because its not nerdy enough! woooo!
s2I noticed the web to nowhere and the doc oc beatings, as well as the bizarre sound on the dagger.I wasn’t bothered enough by them to have it detract from my movie experience. Here’s another, btw: The \”chocolate cake\” Peter’s neighbor brings over, is white cake.
Doc OckI like how The Arms Dr. Octopus wears makes the earth shake as he walks, but he can sneak in and out too? Also, if they shake the earth like that, how is he able to carry them on his back?
the neighbourYeah, what was up with the neighbour? I mean it was part of the plot..the skinny chick liked him, but then it just never went anywhere after that cake scene. Perhaps she was just there so that Mary Jane wouldn’t be as ugly?No doubt, she’s good looking but I mean she isn’t super hot. Not the best prize for a superhero. Although, she does fit the part very well…I just wish she’d be played by someone hotter.
Doc Ocks Arms\”Doc Ock – Marc (Full MoFo) at 07:16:49 PM on 7/11/2004I like how The Arms Dr. Octopus wears makes the earth shake as he walks, but he can sneak in and out too? Also, if they shake the earth like that, how is he able to carry them on his back? \”Inactuallity, the arms carry Doc Ock, not the other way around. You will usually see at least 1 arm on the ground (or whatever surface he is climbing) at all times (at least it’s supposed to be that way. However the arms are made from a lightweight material so that Doc CAN carry them if needed for a period of time. When Doc doesn’t care about being seen or heard the arms can go full bore. they have massive strength so as they climb a wall, the walls are vibrating. (I don’t remeber the ground shaking though, just the walls/buildings when Doc was climbing them.)