Yeah, I know. Exciting, right? I meant to get this set up the other day, but I was too busy touching myself with glee that we finally get a chance to see China Chow’s….chowbags. Apparently last weekend the paparazzi caught Keanu Reeves out on a beach with a strikingly choice Asian female of unknown origin. I didn’t pay much attention to the thumbnails at first, because frankly who gives a shit about what Keanu Reeves is whoa-ing these days. You can imagine my self-loathing when I realized that it was China, my #1 Asian crush and the daughter of L.A. restaurateur Mr. Chow.
I do believe that this signals the return of my nudity clairvoyance, as I quoted The Big Hit way more times than usual last weekend and was disappointed to be met with blank stares of ignorance at each iteration. I think this was the Universe balancing things out for me. For all of us, really. Next weekend I’m going to pick out some obscure Jessica Biel movies to quote, just to test out this theory, though I don’t think anyone will be pleased to hear me quoting Stealth.
…nor will I be pleased to admit that I watched Stealth.
DOB 4/1/74, she looks good for 34…God that old…….. “I said LAN-O-LIN, not that aloe-vera bullshit!”
Yeah, born in 74….she’s ancient. lol
So Sharkey has been Straight Jackin’ all this time?