Everybody’s been telling me that I have to see Crash, predicting the flick’s eventual Oscar win. Everyone says that Thandie Newton is totally hot in it. Everyone tells me to put the gun down and let the hostages go before anyone else gets hurt. Well I say fuck everyone, I live hard, and march to the beat of my own drum.
It’s pronounced Tan-dee. Tan-dee. I’ve heard if you call her Than-dee, she just stands there and gives you a sweet little crooked smile. Then, when you turn your attention elsewhere, she suddenly grabs your scrote with her bare hands and squeezes as hard as she can. And as you vomit violently, slipping into the sweet bowels of unconsciousness, the last thing you’ll hear is a sick mantra of “TAHNN-DEE! IT’S TAHHHN-DEE YOU WANKAH!” in that cute lil’ British accent. Then while you’re out cold, she steals your fucking wallet.
It’ll be so sweet the next day when you tell everyone that you got mugged by “Than-dee Newton.” Then when your friend says “I heard it was pronounced Tan-dee” you can reply with “Nope.” Who is he to argue? He didn’t have his satchel firmly clamped in the clutches of the girl, he’s just some dickhead who reads IMDB too much. Fuck him.
Mmmm…I would stick my COCK in this bitch’s ass……and pretend that it was a man’s ass.
crashWell I guess I’ll break the mold and tell you NOT to see crash because it was a horrible fucking movie. But oh its about racism in america, its such a good movie! Except for the fact its a bunch of stories thrown together that amounts to a total waste of time.
If you see Crash…See it for the hot arab chick, she’s way better than Thandie Newton.
WTFHappended to good movies i ask?….