If you haven’t seen Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang, then I feel incredibly sorry for you. Even if you’re a fuckin’ idiot and don’t enjoy the movie, you’ll definitely appreciate seeing Michelle Monaghan in half of her naked glory. But for now, this HQ gallery update should suffice.
Paint fumes (from our repainting) and Grandma’s Boy make for a good afternoon off from work.
DangerousShe’s gonna put someone’s eyes out with those nipples. She’s fucking hot, though.
uhI have lawn furniture more attractive than her.
Melty faceYeah man, she -looks- stupid.
She needs to go to this websitewww.drroche.com and get some tits installed pronto.
Kiss Kiss Bang BangNever seen it. Course I’ve never seen Fasttimes either.
^_^As I sit on my haunches on this rocky outcrop, I realize that my life has become an endless stream of quests. My first, to leave the nurturing community of the Mother and walk among Humans, is but a fog of a shred of distant remembrance. And now, this obsession to obtain the ultimate Elven spells so that I may shroud myself in the guise of the deadly Dark Elf is a thirst I cannot slake with water blessed by Eva.In between¡¦In between, brief flickers of memories flit by as pages do in a thumb-riffled book. Visions and feelings — yes, feelings too — come and go like young warriors on the Talking Island Docks. But sounds¡¦ ah, sounds have truly marked my 49 years of life.There is the twang of my bowstring as I fought endless zombie trains in the Small Wasteland to obtain the right to be called a lawful citizen of Aden. And, nothing can mimic the clang of an ogre¡¯s axe glancing off of Elven chain mail; hundreds of them I did slay for one little vial of their precious blood used to fashion gloves for my near-brother, Rhock.Seeking the blood crystal in the Ivory Tower, I listened while ghosts sighed their endings and huge golems made of priceless iron plodded through hallways to their doom — a doom my hounds and I visited upon them, in a cacophony of growls and air-splitting mithril missiles.I remember the joyful sound of nocking my first mithril arrow to the bowstring of my newly-fashioned yumi, long since replaced by this eight-time enchanted weapon I now wield. Ah yes, I fondly recall the basilisk¡¯s heartless hiss as it surrendered the all-important gem required to create the bow.But then the most haunting, the dying gasp of my beloved friend and hunting partner PoGi as she succumbed to the elekkadom¡¯s bolts of blue light, in her watery grave in Heine; this sound led to my dark period.It was a silent, lonely period, devoid of all Human or Elf sounds; I punctuated it with the squeals of arachnevils, the collapse of Dwarvish chain mail, the howls of werewolves and lycanthropes, and the death rattles from huge scorpions in the desert. How long did I seek out the paths and hunting areas not often traveled through or visited by others? How many moons passed overhead before I was forced to enter a small hamlet for supplies, and even then I communicated my needs through a funnel of grunts and stinginess of gestures? How many years when only the growls of dogs and beasts did pass into my ears?Though this time and these deeds are buried deep within my past and self-being, ever-still giving me pause, it is now the lack of sound, the utter stillness, which scares me most. It is the void I seek when hunting. My ears are only attuned to the telltale noises of my prey. Even the playful yips from my pups, awaiting their part in the death dance to come, do not break my reverie, nor¡¦Laughter! I hear¡¦ laughter? What manner of fool would laugh when hunting deadly fire-consumed dragon-spawn? He¡¦ No! They! Men and women! Laughing! They will draw the Ifrit down on me!My quick cautious glance around the boulder turned into a slack-jawed stare.Look, my canine friends! See that one! She slays a taurverus using only her bow-skills! And look at him! He jokes with her as he calmly avoids the astagio¡¯s bull-rush! Those two, there! Ah, what teamwork they display to quench the evil desires of not one¡¦ but two¡¦ packs of fire-eggs!And that one in the center, with the regal bearing; not an Elf, but¡¦ what is that? A blue leaf! They all sport the blue leaf! Can it be¡¦?¡°You there, Young One!¡±Curse my sprig-like curiosity! Young one, indeed! Though they be five¡¦ six¡¦ seven fabled¡¦ no! I will not succumb to the likes of them! Prepare yourselves, my stalwart canine hunting friends!¡°Hold, Ell. You have frightened him.¡±Yes, yes, take another step closer. That woman first, she be the most dangerous.¡°Why, I think I recognize this dung-encrusted leaf!¡±I confess my indignation got the better of me then. Or, maybe it was that I had shunned Elven contact for so long, that I¡¦ no matter. What I did then was, in hindsight, well¡¦ I will let you be the judge of that. For this is where my tale really begins.