Slice Of The Day: Jessica Simpson

Re: Jessica Simpson in Maxim this month…

The hair: meh.

The tits: spectacular.

Seriously, when your hair change makes it look that much like a wig, it seems like an open insult to celebrity cancer victims everywhere. All the blondes I know want to be redheads, probably for the purposes of seeming to be more intelligent. Little do they realize that blonde, brunette, redhead, bald, all women are at least the base amount of stupid. Hair color doesn’t quite factor in. Not that this doesn’t apply to all humans mind you, we try to pay more attention to female insanity than their level of intelligence. And frankly, hot redheads are usually a little more fucked up than the rest.

So basically, Jessica is attempting to give off a vibe that says “I’m single, smarter than the blonde you saw on ‘Newlyweds,’ and ready to make some other schmuck’s life miserable with my craziness.” Bravo.

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By Sharkey

I run bamf.

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