You know what I’m going to do? I’m going to make Hilary Duff the slice of the day. And there is nothing… nothing… that you can do about it.
You like that powerless feeling, don’t you… wait! I can see you in there! Pull your pants back on, you fucking pervert! And if you’re going to do that, you should probably put some sort of protective covering over your keyboard, the keys are going to jam up.
Dave Chapelle was fucking awesome, btw. We saw him at the UCSD campus, so the seating was general admission. That means no assigned seats. Thanks to Ticketmaster’s ridiculously bad directions, we wound up getting there about 40 minutes late. And thanks to their overbooking of the event, about 100 people had given in and were already standing up. We had to steal a couple of seats from these college kids who were dumb enough to leave two wide open, and they were pretty pissed, but wimpy enough to shut up when we nabbed ’em. Thanks for being so soft, you La Jolla bastards.
ChappelleI saw him at Xavier a couple of years ago. Goddamn hilarious. He was late and he was high, and he didn’t really have a lot of scripted material. That just made the whole experience better…that and the fact that it was like ten bucks.Choice moments: When he said he couldn’t wait until his kids were able to talk \”because I’ve never talked to someone who lived inside my balls before,\” and his take on getting a chick off: \”That shit’s complicated. There’s all those hoods and flaps down there so you just poke around, ‘which part of this is sensitive?’\”
Fuck David ChappelleMy name is David Chappelle, but I’m not the famous one. Before it was only the occasional checkout clerk (always black) commenting on my name, but now it’s every fucking day or two. I was born first, I had the name first. Go fuck yourself, I’m the original.
Michael Bolton\”Why should I chance my name? He’s the one who sucks!\”
BoltonI guess the Mike-Michael Bolton comparison works, but considering how awesome Dave Chapelle is, I would imagine Dave above would be the one who sucks. In comparison, at least.
Sharkey, you missed one*boom*http://www.stereogum.com/img/hilaryduff.jpg