Quick Note

It’s been a busy week, for comedically tragic reasons that I will detail in pictorial form in a moment, but before I get to that and my thoughts on Pirates, let me just leave you all with this thought:

If you didn’t give a shit about soccer before this summer, you have no Goddamned right to speak about it. Sure, we may be in the land of the free and the home of the brave, but it’s going to be the land of the me stabbing you in the fucking mouth if I have to hear one more person tell me their opinion on France, Italy, Germany, or any other fucking country that wants to kick that little ball around for 90 minutes. If you’re an American, you immediately hate France, laugh at the stereotype of national penile abbreviation that plague the Jerries, and… I dunno, lust after the Italians. Beyond that, it doesn’t fucking matter, unless you’ve been a lifelong “futbol” fan, in which case… good for you, and your patience. Have a Newcastle on me.

Thank you for your time. Uh… go Arsenal. That’s… uh, that’s a a team, right?

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Categorized as News

By Sharkey

I run bamf.

44 comments

  1. About fucking timeIt’s about fucking time someone said it. You guys have probably had 1/5th the exposure to it we’ve had here and as you so concisely said, i didn’t give a fuck before the summer, i sure as hell don’t give a fuck now.

  2. my 2 centsSoccer is the most overrated peice of shit sport on the planet, you dont even use your upper body. Thats 50% of your body not being used! Hold on, professional baseball sucks even worse, at least soccer games aren’t 9 hours long.If you want to watch a real, world-class, non-pantywaist sport, watch rugby. Those guys are the toughest motherfuckers alive and they use their ENTIRE bodies to murder one another and don’t spend half the game scratching themselves in some hole called the \”dugout\”.Football is the gay American version of rugby.Only black people (and people who want to be black) like Basketball.Cricket = Gay.Only Canadians (excluding myself) like Hockey.Even accountants find Golf boring.Any \”sport\” involving a Frisbee should be banned and be punishable by death.

  3. jason420You were making okay points until you discredited yourself by outing your Canadian heritage. You don’t count.

  4. umeuI was merely pointing out that a lot of people don’t like hockey beoynd Canada, and the fact that I myself don’t really like Hockey. White guy, born and raised here, and I don’t like Hockey?I just don’t like how everyone assumes I automatically know everything about it when it comes up in a conversation. After the last two seasons of getting into a Canadian team and watching them lose at the last second doesn’t improve my view of it either.I’d rather watch Pro Wrestling than Hockey right now, and I don’t have many kind words for Pro Wrestling at the moment, at least in North America, some of that Japanese shit is awesome, but whatever. Chicken wings and chocolate bars.

  5. hehyeah, he certainly didn’t discredit himself when he established himself as a racist homophobe.

  6. lmaoeducated posts….\”most overrated piece of shit sport…\”i think you COMPLETELY misspelled \”most popular sport on the planet\”as for not using the upper body… uve clearly not seen or played it. Yes most of the game is with your legs… but guess what. In humans, 80% of power is in the legs, 20% in arms. monkeys however have it the other way around. so yeah, u like monkey sports? thats super. go wildplz come back when uve got some better backup for your hillbilly redneck opinions. kthx

  7. Fuckin idiot\”Futbol – MrGrape (Lowly Newb) at 05:57:28 AM on Soccer is a second-rate Third World pastime.\”Then according to you the rest of the fucking world are made out of third world countries? Get out of your redneck shell you fuckin tard.

  8. Come the fuck on, people…you’re all yelling at someone on -BAMF- of all places, for being a racist homophobe? This is a site -dedicated- to overstatement for hilarity’s sake. The \”you misspelled…\” comment was funy until you seemed to actually get offended at the end. BAMF is an interstice where standard rules of decorum are suspended for the sakes of humor and not-a-little-social-commentary. Figure out your venue before you start calling people rednecks because they want to make fun of something.Disappointing, but hardly unexpected.

  9. Heh…Yup, as usual the whole rest of the world is wrong, except the US. It’s the biggest game in the world, but it has to be crap because the Americans don’t like it.Oh well, you’ll always have your pussy version of rugby (which for some reason gets referred to as \”foot\”ball) and your \”world\” series. Talking out of your asses much?

  10. Pro sports need more ass whippin’sSoccer would kick ass if it wasnt for all the foreigners playing it!Seriously though, it really would kick ass if there were no yellow/red card penalties. Then again, I think almost every sport could benefit from the loosening of the rules. Your professional athletes… you get payed to PLAY a GAME. Stop being pussies and entertain me with late hits, slide tackles aimed at ankles, and in the case of hockey, taking your skate off and attempting to stab someone with it. Earn those big bucks assholes!

  11. allow me to retortI’ve been called both \”redneck\” and \”American\” and I am neither. I’ve clearly pointed out that I’m Canadian.Americans don’t like soccer because they aren’t used to seeing it because big networks can’t put advertisements right in the middle of it like most other sports.However that doesn’t detract from it being extremely boring and overrated. Rugby still beats the shit out of Soccer.

  12. …football and basketball are sports for real men. problem is, there aren’t too many real men outside the US, so they aren’t as popular in other countries. sorry, just stating facts.and its called the world series because its implied that if you can beat every american team, you can beat anyone.

  13. Soccer/footballI am one of those people who have been a fan long enough to actually talk about the World Cup. Soccer/football is awesome and great. I think people in the US tend to discredit it because most games don’t have a lot goals, which makes it seem \”boring\”. But then again, people watch baseball, which usually moves even slower, so I don’t know.Also, the French national team is great. Sure, I wasn’t rooting for them to get this far, but all my teams got knocked out. And half the players for the French team either play or have played for Arsenal at one point or another. And Arsenal is the best. Fuck Chelsea. Fuck Man U.

  14. Puck in mouth.I’m in Florida and I love hockey. I really don’t enjoy football, basketball, or baseball. Last time I checked, I lived in America, dammit. So only Canadians love hockey? I wipe my ass with your maple leaf.

  15. Hate Speech?Vulgarity and crudeness do not hate speech make. I stand by: look at what site you’re on. I didn’t see you railing against Sharkey for his Japanese comments about Nintendo– the \”I hate you lound eye!\” stuff. Could it be because he was joking?The fact that you’re still reading this site means you can differentiate between humor and serious hate speech. This one hit too close to home because, I don’t know, you like Soccer? Regardless, you’re personally offended and are taking a moral highground instead of thinking about what situation you’re in.But hey, it’s cool. We all have our ivory towers.

  16. As for soccer…It sucks. Slow and boring. Half the time the guys walk the field. And the dives are all fucking overdramatic. It’s the gay son of all sports, but it’s ok, since hockey is the bastard son, so he knows what it’s like to get neglected in the US.

  17. See, Sam Gets ItSam understands what this site is about. I salute your beligerence, you cocksmith.

  18. Goddamn.American Football is as boring as hawksfire’s mom in bed, and it’s incredibly American. What other game is won if more than half your team is so obese, they might keel of a heart attack on the field?Soccer is a real man’s sport, none of you dick burglars could run 10 miles in one game. And so is Rugby. I love a good fistfight when balls are involved (Fabric ones I mean).I’m American and I hate our sports. Basketball takes skill though.

  19. lineAm I allowed to talk about the Olympics? I don’t give a shit about any of those sports, except skiing.

  20. fuck soccerWOW LOOK AT PLAYER A PASS THAT BALL, PLAYER B DIDNT KNOW WHAT HIT HIM. THAT WAS A BEAUTIFUL PASS *20 minutes later after several more beautiful passes* GOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!Fuck soccer.

  21. Hawksfire either jason420s stuff about blacks and gays was dirogitory to those groups or they were the lamest jokes in the world. Seriously, calling something gay wasnt even funny when I was 13. there was no humor there, just ignorant trash.

  22. some more.in regards to sharkey’s stuff, at least there’s an ounce of creative humor there. there is nothing funny about \”basket ball is for blacks\” and not just because it’s racist but because it is horribly unoriginal. it’s just a dumb generalization that thousands of people have made before.

  23. When did I ever say this is particularly witty humor?I stand by: if you’re reading this site, you’re not looking for Wildean wit and rhetoric. Part of the charm of BAMF is that it’s a place to laugh at the jokes that are culturally ingrained.There’s nothing that says that it can’t be derogatory -and- funny, by the way. That’s sort of what I’m getting at. The images people portray when posting on this site are not meant for general consumption. They’re meant for regular readers who are part of this in-group discourse. Macho Americana is absolutely hilarious. I’m not actually defending what Jason420 said. Hell, I’m not really bothering to defend his right to say it either.I’m just saying you shouldn’t expect anything different. The attitude we’re talking about is a white machismo meme– the humor comes from resonance, not content.

  24. Futbol, it’s teh boringNothing makes me fall asleep faster than soccer. Except work.I imagine my kids will play it someday, so Imma have to suck it up at some point and start liking it.

  25. American sportsYes most, if not all, American athletes are overpaid prima donnas. It doesn’t change the fact that soccer blows. A 3+ hour game ending in a 0-0 tie…bah. But the top-tier teams are so talented you say, BFD is my reply.

  26. Re: American sports\”A 3+ hour game ending in a 0-0 tie…bah. But the top-tier teams are so talented you say, BFD is my reply.\” Soccer games that are ties are only 90 mins. If it goes into extra time, then it’s not going to be a tie.

  27. Euros are pussies In America we have men like Ronnie lott who had his pinky partially amputated on the sideline as to not miss a game; Allen Iverson who has a perpetually broken arm, and several others who routinely play hurt. All I see from Socccer is guys getting on a stretcher from incidental contact, and bemulleted fags rolling around and grabbing their knees, only to spring back up as soon as the card is thrown like nothing ever happened.

  28. Re: Euros are pussiesdonkeyrigged: same thing with professional sports. The U.S. has its fair share of pussies in all the professional leagues.

  29. Re: Euros are pussiesI used to think that until I played them in rugby. Guys with mouths full of missing teeth, metal plates in there head, and no body protection allowed. They hit harder in football but rugby isn’t for pussies. You have to give the Euros respect for that.

  30. RE: Euros are pussiesIf you think American Football is harder than Rugby, then you need to see a game involving Australia, New Zealand or an Islander nation. The two hardest ball sports in the world are Rugby Union and Australian Football, that foam padded fairy game you call American Football doesnt even come close.Oh, and the bad man Zidane dislocated his shoulder in the 80th minute of the final, and had them pop it back in on the friggin pitch before continuing to play, tell me how that rates as a nothing.

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