Oh mother of fucking merciful mercies. This is a truly grand story, and I lifted it straight outta the forums. That forum thread box above this post is fucking awesome, and I am totally glad I coded it. DRUNK ME APPROVES!
Oh right… the story.
Officials said Mario Russo, 44, was attacked after he was spotted outside a bedroom window wearing his pants around his ankles and watching a 5-year-old girl who was sleeping outside the Bunkeridge Apartments.
Police said after he was discovered a group of six people, include the girls mother, aunt and their boyfriends attacked him and brutally beat him for more than an hour.
The girl’s mother, Stacy Umstott, 28; her aunt, Athena Lemieux, 20; Brandon Breedon, 21; Nicholas Phipps, 21; and Khald Arafat, 34; and a 15-year-old are in police custody. They face felonious assault and rape charges. Murder charges could be filed if Russo dies.
The girl’s aunt admitted to sexually assaulting Russo with a tree branch, police said.
Fucking. Amazing. The fact that these people were arrested is a testament to the America that lawyers have crafted for us. Just one more step towards destroying them in kilms of immense torturous flame, in my opinion. Well, right after I stop doing websites for law firms. Contact me for a quote, you evil bitches. I do good work.
tape?!?!this was caught on tape?! hahahaha, even better.
Skeet skeet skeetThey’ve got rape charges!? Damn.
My WishI wish someone would rape Sharkey with a tree branch. He undoubtedly masturbates outside the bedroom windows of little girls (not to mention boys).
American Lawyers\”The fact that these people were arrested is a testament to the America that lawyers have crafted for us. \”that statement is bullshit. they clearly commited a crime. they essentially crafted their own punishment for a crime that had no been commited. (you could only justify doing this, had the man been raping the girl or was about to rape the girl. neither of which actually happened)this is not on par with say a criminal breaking into your house, slipping on the floor, then sueing you for it. sorry sharkey, these people went too far and deserve to be punished. ironically whoever stuck the branch in his ass will now be a sex offender. whereas very little will happen to the peeping tom. (unless there was some prior infraction)
He deserved itOh come the fuck on man, he was masterbating at a 5 year old. It’s a shame they didnt kill him right there.
From Smoking GunA witness told investigators that he heard a female attacker yelling, \”put it in his ass, he wants it in his ass.\”That…..is classic.
ha\”sorry sharkey, these people went too far and deserve to be punished.\”This prick got his McComin’s. The fact that he was rubbing his gobbles to the face of a prepubescent little girl (not just an image mind you, but the real deal) suggests that he’s probably committed the act of molestation at some point in the past… but since he’s probably going to get off easy, I can only hope he’s suffered some form of brain damage that’s rendered his juicer kaput.
Tree BranchHoly shit how do you think to shove a tree branch in his ass? A TREE BRANCH!?! Now that’s classic. I don’t think i could have come up with a better punishment for fondleing your man-parts over a 5 year old girl. That woman deserves a medal for all the funny she just brought into my life.
RednecksWhy don’t yo’all just grab your pitch forks and burning sticks and hang all o’dem from the nearest tree…. Jus like in dem oldn’ days.