BAMF

[ Stoned Owl Hides In Christmas Tree ]

Animal control officers from Pelican Man’s Bird Sanctuary came to get the owl, and said they smelled a strange odor on it when they did.

“Curiously enough, the owl’s feathers smelled very, very potently like marijuana,” said Jeff Dering, of the sanctuary. “They examined the owl, looked at its eyes, … and the owl was, in the vernacular, stoned.”

Blood tests confirmed the owl’s state.

How long before we get a bunch of stoned OH RLY? images?

So apparently these excellent photos of Jennifer Lopez hit the net, featuring a little bit of titillating nipple action. Unfortunately, they don’t seem to be up over at SOTD, so I went ahead and helped out a bit. You’re welcome.

Anyone care to be on the expiration date of the future ex-Mr-Lopez (Marc Anthony)? Her first marriage lasted like 11 months, the second one under a year and a half… I’m guessing this one will last forever, personally. I really do. Let’s all pull for these kids my friends, because the third time’s the charm.

*Please note, forever in Sharkey years is precisely 2 years, 4 months, and 23 days. Offer void in Utah. Please drink responsibly.

I love that everyone is making a big deal out of a simple sound bite from Scarlett Johansson. She made some sort of comment about monogamy being unnatural, and everyone takes it as a sure sign that she’s a complete fucking whore. She’s an actress folks, she loves the sound of her own voice, and she loves regurgitating shit that she heard some smart guy say in Variety. Besides, if she were a whore, she would have done at least one Goddamned nude scene by now.

…still, let’s not throw out all hope that she’s becoming a whore.

You may remember seeing Jenn Sterger over at the Facebook in a series of… excellent shots. Seems like the huge-tittied Florida State Cowgirl is going to do Maxim & Playboy, according to this interview. Yay for her, and even more yay for us.

*OK, the tough question that you probably hate to hear… but everyone wants to know. Are they fake?

No. They are real. Real expensive.

*There are some rumors floating around you might be May edition of Playboy. Is this true? If so, are you being featured in the girls of the ACC or is it just you by yourself?

It’s actually a spot in the ‘Top Ten Party Schools’ of the nation, and it’s with a girlfriend of mine, Fabi. It’s due out in the May edition.

Fan-fucking-tastic.

Everybody be on the lookout, I’m likin’ this chick the more I see of her.

Flickr Photo Pool: NYC Transit Strike

It’s kinda cool to see what’s going on over there right now. I want more shots of the insane crowds on the bridge. Oh, and for the record, Bloomberg walked today.

And just in case you’re in NYC now, trapped, and kinda bored…

Leeann Tweeden is just all kinds of hot wrapped up in… well, not much in the gallery. She just did a couple of pretty hot photo shoots, one for Stuff magazine, and they’re available over at SOTD.

For a former Playboy lingerie model, she’s gone nude a stunningly low amount of times. Somebody get this girl a more European attitude towards clothes, quickly.

Their intentions are in the right place… but their product leaves a lot to be desired. Although who knows, I’ve been to the midwest, I’ve seen the kind of chicks that corn-fed inbreeding can produce… maybe these girls are considered “gorgeous” over there. But here in Cali… they’re about as attractive as a McDonald’s lunch. Why not go take a look at the Geek Gorgeous Calendar and decide for yourselves, maybe my standards have just ascended a bit too high.

The calendar showcases young ladies who are not only beautiful and stylish, but can also fix your computer, normalize your databases, discuss the advantages of polymorphism, and beat you at Doom.

The calendar’s producer, who is a female software engineer, hopes the calendar will raise enough money to start a scholarship fund for girls interested in attaining degrees in Computer Science.

Yeah, a couple of them are fairly do-able, but other than the “geek” stigma, there’s no real reason to slap their images on any kind of marketing material. At least some of the uglier ones have some decent bodies, but that Barbara… what the Hell is she doing on there? She must be the wife of an investor or something, because she’s definitely got a face for radio.

I think I’ll stick to my Far Side calendar… thanks.

MIT Mario Bros. “Hack”

Some adventurous (and nerdy) MIT students pranked one of the halls by turning it into a giant Mario Bros. level. I particularly appreciated the flag on top, can’t finish the level without it.

Ooooh sweeeeet nectar. I’ve always loved Eliza Dushku, and now I get to know a bit more about her grooming habits. What an excellent day.

I always imagined her as a landing strip kinda gal, myself.

More pics from the “slip” incident. Might help to assuage your fears that it’s a fake.

Got emailed this about 80 times today, but it never hurts to share the wealth:

Chappelle Theory

Read a very long winded (and probably 100% ficticious) account of the plot to keep Chappelle’s Show from returning. Featuring evil, oppressing Oprah Winfrey!