If you like gaudy furniture, ceramic dolls, arcade games, and scary ass life sized dolls

by on February 24, 2009 @ 9:35 am

Then you might find something to bid on at the Michael Jackson Nerverland Ranch Auction. There is very little that I would actually want to bid on, let alone allow in my house in that catalog. Though I’m sure some Jesus Juice has been decanted by some of those items.

When it absolutely, positively needs to travel 53 times the actual distance required.

by on February 11, 2009 @ 1:35 pm

On Sunday the DLP bulb on my TV went out and I ordered a new one online on Monday from a company roughly 78 miles from my house.  I paid $17.57 for FedEx standard overnight delivery expecting the package to be delivered yesterday around 4 or 5 PM.

It’s now Wednesday at 1:40 PM and I just got off the phone with FedEx for the 4th time. Instead of taking a cozy train, or van, or even carrier pigeon from San Diego north to my home, my package was first sent to Denver, then to Chicago, and is now supposedly on its way to my house to be delivered tomorrow “before 10:30 AM” a full two days after it was supposed to.

HOW THE FUCK IS THAT POSSIBLE? A package weighing less than one pound is not once, but twice misrouted for a grand total of around 4160 miles out of the way of the intended delivery path.

fuckyoufedex1

Arise, Chicken

by on January 31, 2009 @ 11:31 am

I was trying to upgrade the system a couple of weeks ago and inadvertently fouled up everything. Now I’ve unfouled it.

Now I just need something worth writing about.

Eliza Dushku Boobies!

by on December 22, 2008 @ 9:38 am

Holy hannah, they do exist!

Why couldn’t this have happened five years ago? Stupid network execs, giving her those doomed-to-failure TV shows. They’re the ones that are responsible for her shirt staying on all these years, filling her bosoms with false hope that they’d never have to reveal themselves. At least, not unless it’s important to the character, in a really respectable film. Or perhaps your well starts running dry on that last stretch to 30, and a third-rate director offers you a part in his latest shitty horror/drama.

Fun fact: her brother is in this movie. I’m going to let my mind wander on that for a bit.