In case you didn’t know, Whitney Houston is a complete fucking crackwhore.
In a shocking interview, the mother of six told how Whitney spends days locked in her bedroom amid piles of rubbish.
There the woman who co-starred with Kevin Costner in the 1992 hit movie The Bodyguard smokes crack, uses sex toys to satisfy herself and ignores personal hygiene.
When high on drugs, she imagines she sees demons and is being beaten by them.
Interesting read. If even half of this shit is true, she seriously needs some help. I wonder if my Mom knows about all of this, she used to be a huge Whitney Houston fan. It’s kind of leaving the “hilariously sad” and heading into the “depressingly tragic” territory.
I do get a funny visual of a cracked out Whitney sodomizing herself with a dildo in a bathroom while she swats at non-existent demons.
Fighting Doberman Pincer Genitalias
by Sharkey on @ 11:45 am
Hi-fucking-larious.
Slice Of The Day: Victoria Adams
by Sharkey on @ 12:23 am
Holy Hell am I tired. Too tired to come up with something terribly witty involving Victoria Adams (Beckham) for her stint as slice of the day. But hey, you’re a self sufficient lot, you can handle this for one night by yourselves. Just remember no sugar before bed and no rated R movies, you’ll have nightmares.
Now keep it down in here for awhile, I’m going to see if I can schtup your mother again before I hit the hay.
This Is Like The Onion, But In Musical Form, Right?
by Sharkey on March 28, 2006 @ 5:16 pm
You’ve gotta wonder just what it’s like to be Kevin Federline. I mean the guy must know what a walking, talking douchebag the world sees him as. He’s also gotta know that anyone who buys his soon-to-be-released album, Playing with Fire, is doing so simply for the comedic value. He is undoubtedly aware that he’s pretty much the punchline to the joke that is Britney Spears’ career these days. So you’ve gotta ponder what it’s like to come to grips with all of those facts, just for the sake of money. I mean I’m sure he’s crying all the way to the bank, but at what point to you feel good about exchanging all respectability for a Ferrari?
…and how do I follow suit?
The supremely awesome Kevin Federline has named his debut album Playing With Fire and the expected release date for this album is August 2006. As you may know, he made his first promotional club appearance this past Saturday, March 25th at Vision Club in Atlanta, GA. Usher, Nelly and Jazze Pha were all in attendance and the event has been called a “huge success!” (in a press release). He’s going to make promotional appearances at clubs across the country and will help out local charities in the cities he visits. Here’s what the man himself has to say about the album and tour:
“The inspiration and meaning behind the title Playing With Fire is self explanatory. I’m excited about this album and am looking forward to continuing my promotional club tour in support of it and seeing the first-hand reaction of my fans listening to my songs for the first time. My album is sure to set the dance floors across the world on fire!”
Moral bankruptcy and a loaded wallet seem to go hand in hand.
You know he’s totally self-aware, he must be. It’s the only way to explain his appearance on a day-to-day basis.
Barren of Barrett
by Jester on @ 2:34 pm
On March 22, Dicky Barrett, former front man for the Mighty Mighty Bosstones, was fired from his position as host of Indie 103.1‘s morning program, The Mighty Morning Show. The reason for the firing, according to Indie 103.1 station GM Dawn Girocco:
“We have been working with Dicky for the past five months trying to get the show to the next level.. We invested a lot into not only the show, but in promoting and coaching him. Unfortunately it takes a lot of work to build and grow a morning show as well as develop interesting, compelling content. This was not Dicky’s priority, as he had other commitments with Jimmy Kimmel Live, which was, in his words, ‘his bread and butter.’ Everyone at Indie has a tremendous commitment to the station and to the audience. We need to have a morning show that is able to make Indie their #1 priority.”
Barrett disgrees with this statement, and had the following to say in rebuttal:
Jimmy Kimmel is a great guy who supported the Mighty Morning Show, and loved it, even though he helped to build the Kevin and Bean Show on KROQ and is the Producer of the Adam Carolla Morning Radio Show.
The man hired to “coach” me “trying to get the show to the next level” Dan Kieley said “Dicky is a true talent and a radio star” and “it’s a great Morning Show.” I was fired for being unwilling to be, in Dawn Girocco’s words “more mainstream.” It was a great morning show. It is unfair to let people think I walked away to put more work into loudly reading twenty to thirty words a night on Jimmy’s T.V. show. I worked hard on the Mighty Morning Show. I along with Stacey, Chuck, and Liz, built and grew it to what it was. You could count on it (for the most part) to provide you with interesting, compelling content and better music then any other show on the air in the morning.
The Mighty Morning Show ran for about a year, from March of 2005, until last week. Barrett has been the announcer for Jimmy Kimmel live since 2003, which was about the time the Bosstones went on extended hiatus. I never got a chance to hear what the Mighty Mornign Show sounded like, as I’m usually at work when it aired in LA, or out running errands if I’m off. From what I’ve read, though, it seems like the show was pretty popular. Sad to see something like what Dicky describes below happen at what I’ve always found to be a cool radio station. Now, I can’t say I listen to Indie 103.1 as much as I would were it on the air out here in the midwest, but when I’ve tuned in (especially to shit like Jonesy’s Jukebox), it’s been as cool a station as I could have hoped for.
The full story of what happened, according to Dicky:
The station was built to fuck with KROQ (Infinity) by people from KISS-FM (Clear Channel) it was just supposed to be a short lived pain in the ass that that took away a few ratings points, and talked some shit about KROQ – Inadvertently (and you can credit Steve Jones and the other celebrity DJ’s) it became good, and got a lot of national attention, and credible press “the coolest station in America” rolling stone etc. At that point the FCC said Clear Channel who operated Indie 103.1 out of the Entravision offices could no longer do so – All business ties on paper we’re severed – It became a full Entravision property – But the hard right leaning Clear Channel program director and station manager (along with a lot of the behind the scenes technical employees) were already firmly in place – It is in Clear Channel’s best interest that Indie 103.1 exist – the PD, Michael Steele (who brags about “breaking Britney Spears”) and the station manager, Dawn Girocco (a long time radio sales women) are believing their own hype and considering themselves radio geniuses who masterminded the Indie 103.1 phenomenon, so it’s now time to implicate their superior “radio wisdom” and conventional “radio strategy” – #1) Morning shows need to be musically formatted and the music needs to be heavily rotated – #2) All guests must be approved by Michael Steele (Dawn Girocco really, she’s Dick Cheney, Steele’s George Bush) “no guests to controversial soccer moms are listening in the a.m.” – There were other things that were more annoying, then actually detrimental to the show “say the time, and call letters till your blue in the face” – I reluctantly, and unhappily against my better judgment went along with all this for about two weeks, hoping they would come to their senses – During this time they brought in a longtime radio guru, to consult (he also worked at one point for Clear Channel) – His assessment was the show was “really good” and I was a “legitimate talent and a potential radio star” – Not the information these people wanted me to have – When I made an on air remark about not liking the new overplayed Morrissey track I was marched into the President of Entravisions office (Jeff Lieberman, a fan of Mighty Morning show) – In front of me, Jeff told Dawn he was not prepared to “strip Dicky of his opinion” she was obviously and visibly embarrassed – Then he asked her if she gave me the book about morning radio that he gave her to give to me “no, it’s at home” she said, “why the hell, is it there” he asked, she looked humiliated – This was the beginning of the end for me, and the writing was most likely on the wall – Two weeks after that I had a substantial, unauthorized, pro-choice conversation on the air with a South Dakota disc jockey and a few callers, the straw that broke the camels back – This is not the direction supporters of the current administration want the station going in.
– I was fired that day
-I loved doing the show and loved the people who loved it
Thank you,
Dicky
Contact Indie 103.1 and express your disappointment call #877.900.1031 or or e-mail Michael Steele (program director).
the Mighty Mighty Bosstones – “Everybody’s Better“
the Mighty Mighty Bosstones – “Another Drinkin’ Song“
Fez Is A Straight Up Gentleman
by Sharkey on @ 2:24 pm
Wilmer Valderrama was on Stern yesterday and apparently spilled the beans on his sex life, and was about as humble as can be. And by humble, I mean he sounded like a complete fucking prick. You’ve gotta admire the man’s balls though, especially since they’re close to a still-within-regulation-sized cock that he seems to think is quite special.
Howard said that he had a list of women with whom Wilmer allegedly has had sex and wanted his thoughts on each of them. The first name Howard mentioned was Jennifer Love Hewitt, who Wilmer replied “was an eight.”
Because of the number of A-Listers on Wilmer’s list of sexual partners, Howard asked him if he’s well-endowed. Wilmer responded that he’s “been blessed” in that department, before saying that his penis is more than eight inches long.
The dude claimed to have bagged a number of starlets, including Jennifer Love Hewitt, Mandy Moore, and Ashlee Simpson. Apparently Ashlee was a screamer in the sack, which is funny considering all the vocal help she needed on SNL.
Jack Black As Tingle
by Sharkey on @ 1:38 pm
Time for some gaming news kiddies, hold on to your hats.
- New Castlevania DS Soon? – I still haven’t finished the old one, so I don’t know why I’m so damned excited about the possibility of another. Dammit I am a consumer whore.
- Metroid Manga – This is pretty fucking slick. If you feel the need, there’s a flash version in Japanese too, complete with music and some animation.
- Zelda: The Movie? – Reggie from NOA talks about Metroid for the big screen, and drops the possibility of a feature length Zelda flick in the future. Considering the shitty fan-films I’ve seen, I just hope that they come up with better looking tights. We’ve already discussed how the Japanese love to faggot up our heroes, especially Link, so God only knows what will come of this.
- From the Magic Box:
Rockstar Games has registered a trademark protection in US for a new game title Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories on March 21, 2006. Which seems to be the next GTA title for PSP.
Awesome. Yet another handheld game that excites me, even though I haven’t gotten around to completing its predecessor.
Slice Of The Day: Dania Ramirez
by Sharkey on @ 12:24 am
So Captain Terror has been bugging me for a long time about putting up Dania Ramirez, and I’ve been putting it off in hopes that I’d be able to find a shitload of excellent photos. No such luck, but I was able to get a gallery together and up over at SOTD, so now you all get to enjoy the fruits of his naggin’. Enjoy brotha.
Apparently Dania is going to play Callisto in X-3, but that’s no excuse for being in She Hate Me. Nobody has an excuse for being in a Spike Lee joint. Death, threat of rape, familial ties… I’m certain I could say fuck you and brush that idiot off in any of these cases. Still, I think she made out with a chick in that flick, so I guess he can’t be all bad. Just mostly bad. Which is more that I can say for Michael Bay, so he’s got one up on whitey.
Sue Me Baby One More Time
by Sharkey on March 27, 2006 @ 2:34 pm
Is it just me, or does every female celebrity on the planet have some masochistic urge to take photos of themselves that they wouldn’t want anyone to have posession of, ever? That, or it’s all just a subversive marketing tactic (more likely) to make us all continue to care about people like Britney Spears, who is quite steamed at the moment. Why? Because some online casino just paid $40K for some nude photos of her, pre-K-Fed. Although she’s stating that the photos are fakes, clever Photoshop jobs in an attempt to extort her or capitalize on her fame or some shit. It’s from the Enquirer, so I take it all with a grain of salt, but if it comes true we’ll be on it like white on Michael Jackson.
The Enquirer is reporting that a friend of Britney says the star “is flipping out.” She’s even more furious because “the whole thing is a put up job – the photos are Britney’s head put on someone else’s body,” the friend tells the magazine. In other words – Camp Britney is saying Brit’s head is photoshopped on a nude body.
But the web site reportedly claims they are Brit as a teen completely nude.
Yeah, it’s a longshot. But after the downward spiral she’s been on lately, its nice to fantasize about the old, non-total-fucking-whore Britney.
No Lawn Gnomes Were Harmed
by Sharkey on @ 11:38 am
Man Kills 15-Year Old W/Shotgun For Walking On Lawn ]
Martin: “Kids just been giving me a bunch of (expletive), making other kids harass me in my place, tearing things up.”
911 Operator: “OK, so what’d you do?”
Martin: “I shot him with a (expletive) 4-10 shotgun twice.”
911 Operator: “You shot him with a shotgun? Where is he?”
Martin: “He’s laying in his yard.”
Not fucking kidding, that’s the transcript. I know it reads like the kind of faux-transcript that I’d cook up (minus drug references or something) but this old fucker seriously called up, calm and cool, and had the most blase 911 conversation admitting to murder that I’ve ever heard.
People in Ohio take their lawns seriously, I guess.