BAMF

Wow. This one is just too fucking easy.

Last week, 9 News told you about an unusual phenomenon in St. Bernard Parish that has some experts baffled. Watermelons are growing in areas devastated by Hurricane Katrina, and no one seems to be able to explain why. The story of the Katrina melons has now sparked the interest of some biologists, who are curious about just what might be inside. Gary Ross is one biologist who made the trip to investigate the melons.

“It’s a general scientific interest, and it also could be a public concern because a lot of the people who see these nice watermelons may want to immediately eat them. And they may be perfectly fine… but then they may not be.”

In the words of Mr. Miyagi: Buddha provide.

Poor Britney, she’s had a rough week. First she didn’t even place on FHM’s 100 sexiest women list, then her husband continued breathing every day, and now her baby’s skull is fractured following a fall from his high chair. If the little bastard wasn’t guaranteed to be retarded based on genetics alone, I’d feel a lot more sympathy.

On April 7, when Britney Spears and Kevin Federline realized that their baby, Sean Preston, had been sleeping more than usual, panic bells went off. Just six days earlier, the 7-month-old had taken a major fall from his high chair, a tumble that had his parents worried that he might have been critically injured.

They had every right to fret. After rushing Sean to a nearby hospital, they discovered he had a minor skull fracture (sometimes called a “scalp fracture” in babies), and a blood clot. And the doctors weren’t the only ones to take notice! The next day, the Department of Children and Family Services began looking into the incident.

Oh, it gets worse for poor Britney from there. Seems that Child Protective Services had to pay her a visit regarding baby Sean’s tumble. According to the report, it’s a pretty standard routine and has no bearing on Brit/KFed’s parenting abilities. Although isn’t this the second time they’ve had to be alerted to the white trash antics of this upper class family? I wonder if they get a free coffee mug on their third report?

I endangered my child’s existence and all I got was this lousy coffee mug.

Google Calendar

If this thing is built into Gmail, it’s going to kick some serious ass. Microsoft Outlook is going to be damned near useless pretty soon.

Hoo man, I haven’t watched “The O.C.” in awhile, and I’d sorta forgotten just how much saliva I lose every time I see a chick from that show. Take Amanda Righetti for example. I would totally… totally…

…yeah, blood loss from brain. Witty comment impossible. Me go now.

Embarrassing Sex Acts – Urethra Injury Edition

Or as its alternate title goes, “pussies, steer clear.”

Dude, the Whitney train just keeps on rolling. I’m not saying I believe in the whole thing, I’m just so enamored with the portrait of Houston that they’re painting here. Cracked out, sodomizing some other cracked out bitch in the middle of her multimillion dollar house while kids and house staff pass by.

Brown tells the Enquirer: “Whitney has a problem. She’s got to have it.

“Bobby always tells me: ‘If you only knew. She’s with this one and with that one. It’s no secret.’

“I’ve seen her with a woman a couple of times. They were walking around without their shirts on when I came in the house.”

“All The Man That I Need” is far more comical now.

I’m sorry, but in what fucking universe does it make sense that David Spade is banging Heather Locklear?

The two were seen making out at some Hollywood hot spot. The pair have the same manager so have been friends for a while. Friends of the couple say they are hoping to keep it quiet for now.

Unidor must be asleep on the fucking job. Someone wake that mystical pile of vomit up, pronto!

OK, so the previous article has me intrigued. Why the fuck would anyone pay for such a service, especially when real dollars are so simply converted to digital dollars in second life? So I got this link to a Second-Life Escort Review site, and I poked around for a little while. It’s like what you’d imagine to be on a real-life escort site, except instead of talking about how the bitch smells or if she gives good head, the dorks talk about her spelling abilities or sound effects.

..again, I wish I were kidding.

Anonymous – 03/10/2006 5 of 5 Stars!

I have fucked a whole lot of escorts and non-escorts in SL. I have had cyber sex with hundreds of women going back to the early days of the internet. I have paid her 3 times so far, I am sure I will again. taboo Heart just oozes sex and reality. You can see it in her AVI. You can see it in her typing and (I spoke to her for ten minutes once on skype) you can hear it in a voice. She is everything she says she is and I think a whole lot more. I probably will pay some other escorts again, but only just to pinch myself to see if Taboo Heart is that hot. I’m getting twinges in my cock just thinking about her as I write this, honestly!

Wow.

So is it just cybering with some imagery going on here? Why the fuck would anyone pay for a man to pretend to talk dirty to you when you could hop onto AIM, pose as a 14-year old boy, and get it for free?

Sex Sells In Second Life

Let me spare you that moment where you have to ascertain from the title whether or not to actually read something. It’s an article about guys spending money on virtual prostitutes in MMOs.

…no, I’m not kidding.

Just because these escort girls are e-only doesn’t make them any less real. One girl, Taboo Heart, injects some serious reality into her performances in Second Life’s red light district: “I recorded myself masturbating and cropped that into bits I could bring into Second Life.”

However, the CGW piece isn’t just a romp into the underbelly of Second Life, but also looks at the real world cost of sex in Second Life. The article points out that for clients a penis, simply to participate costs L$1500, (that’s Second Life’s currency) or a little under six dollars. Similarly, the CGW piece points out that an online brothel collecting 20% per “trick” would net roughly $47,608 dollars a year. And that figure isn’t in Second Life money.

I have seen the future. And it will suck.