Jennifer Aniston’s ass. Not much else you can say about it. Might brighten your day.
Slice Of The Day: Jessica Simpson
by Sharkey on @ 1:07 pm
Re: Jessica Simpson in Maxim this month…
The hair: meh.
The tits: spectacular.
Seriously, when your hair change makes it look that much like a wig, it seems like an open insult to celebrity cancer victims everywhere. All the blondes I know want to be redheads, probably for the purposes of seeming to be more intelligent. Little do they realize that blonde, brunette, redhead, bald, all women are at least the base amount of stupid. Hair color doesn’t quite factor in. Not that this doesn’t apply to all humans mind you, we try to pay more attention to female insanity than their level of intelligence. And frankly, hot redheads are usually a little more fucked up than the rest.
So basically, Jessica is attempting to give off a vibe that says “I’m single, smarter than the blonde you saw on ‘Newlyweds,’ and ready to make some other schmuck’s life miserable with my craziness.” Bravo.
Bluuuugh
by Sharkey on June 19, 2006 @ 2:30 pm
The heartiest of condolences to my enemies who would wish me dead or at the very least slapped around repeatedly, for it just isn’t so. Last week was pretty ladened with work, and bullshit, and bullshit work. Then a party on Saturday to celebrate the fact that I’m not doing this bullshit work for someone else anymore, which left me… slightly obliterated.
Though I do arise anew, fresh and ready to actually post shit on this site again. For the moment though, I’m going to go grab some lunch, and then come back to try and put a dent in our leftover supply of sangria, which you will notice to the right. I don’t even want to think about the fast-melting ice supply on the beers outside. I have duties to accomplish as a man, and my queer little liver is bitching like a schoolgirl who got pushed in the mud.
I mean to make up for the postlessness of last week, so if any of you have pie, links, etc to share, now is the time to do so. I am alert, ready, and slightly turned on, which is a good state of being for pie postage. I’ve got some personal stores of nudity and semi-states of nudity (not mine) to share momentarily.
In the meantime, laugh at another human with me.
Another Reason Not To Read
by Sharkey on June 14, 2006 @ 2:32 pm
…not like that, idiots.
Home Depot Shoppers Find Drugs
by Sharkey on @ 1:47 pm
And. You’re. An. Idiot. (Thanks BazookaDave)
A contractor late last week discovered two 50-pound “bricks” of marijuana wrapped in plastic bags inside a bathroom vanity he had purchased at a Home Depot store in Tewksbury, said Chief of Detectives Lt. Dennis Peterson.
The estimated street value of the marijuana is around $145,000, Peterson said.
Similar incidents have occurred in other parts of the state. A plumber purchased a vanity in western Massachusetts on Monday in which he later found 3 kilograms of cocaine and around 40 pounds of marijuana, with a total estimated street value of $250,000, according to the Southwick Police Department.
There’s no way… no way possible that those fuckers didn’t take a nice afternoon to themselves prior to calling the police. Say, a nice afternoon where they stashed/sold a new car’s worth of their “findings” before they remembered the numer for 911.
Anyone want to have a nice little Saturday? Hit up the Home Depot?
Goodnight, Michelle.
by Sharkey on June 12, 2006 @ 6:06 pm
Holy shit. Why did it take FaaQ to bring this to my attention?
Winner.
Touch & Go Bash
by Jester on @ 2:29 pm
Ticket On-Sale Date and Additional Bands Announced for the Touch and Go Records 25th Anniversary Celebration at the 10th Annual Hideout Block Party
* 14 bands added to the lineup
* Tickets go on sale Friday, June 16 @ 10AM
As previously announced, 25 Touch And Go bands will be performing on September 8, 9 and 10 as part of the Touch And Go Records 25th Anniversary Celebration at the Hideout’s 10th Annual Block Party. In addition to the nine previously announced bands, Touch and Go Records and the Hideout are happy to welcome fourteen further bands to the lineup, making the listing as follows:
Listing of all bands announced so far (23 of the 25 bands):
!!!
Three Mile Pilot
Negative Approach (featuring John Brannon and OP Moore)
The Black Heart Procession
The New Year
Calexico
Pegboy
CocoRosie
Pinback
Didjits (all original members)
Quasi
Enon
Scratch Acid (all original members)
The Ex
Seam
Girls Against Boys (all original members)
Shellac
Killdozer (all original members)
The Shipping News
Ted Leo + Pharmacists
Supersystem
Man… or Astroman?
(all original members)Uzeda
More bands will be announced in the coming weeks.
Tickets for the 25th Anniversary Celebration go on sale Friday, June 16 at 10:00 am Central. Three Day passes will go for $35. All of the profits from ticket sales will be donated to the following Chicago organizations: Tuesday’s Child, Literacy Works, and the Thomas Drummond Elementary School.
For more details and updates on the 25th Anniversary Celebration, make sure to visit the official website. There you’ll find ticket information, lineup details, answers to frequently asked questions, and more. Visit the site regularly for updates and new band announcements.
Man. This sucks. It’s one month after I visit Chicago for Wizard World. The only cool stuff going on while I’m out there is Lollapalooza, and there’s no way I’d fork out the amount of money required for that just to deal with heat in a frickin’ park. And that’s speaking nothing of the fact that most of the smaller bands will be playing during the day while I’m holding down a table in artist’s alley with my friends Zach and Sarah. I’m more of a “dank club after 10pm with whiskey and cigarettes” kind of guy rather than an “all-day sunshine in the park” fellow.
Something I Learned Today… has a great Didjits post.
from Shake the Sheets:
Ted Leo – “Me and Mia
from Hearts of Oak
Ted Leo – “High Party“
Ted Leo – “Dead Voices“
Ted Leo – “Bridges, Squares“
Ted Leo – “Where Have All the Rudeboys Gone?“
Slice Of The Day: Vida Guerra Again!
by Sharkey on June 9, 2006 @ 4:32 pm
Just because work has made me quite neglectful, here’s the entire Vida Guerra Playboy shoot.
And of course, for every other sweet shot of her latin caboose, head over to SOTD’s Vida Guerra gallery.
Put your goddamn arms down and play the game
by moogleofdoom on June 8, 2006 @ 10:02 am
I’ve been playing organized sports for the better part of my life. As a little Moogle in Kindergarten I was signed up for a soccer team with my classmates and I’ve been playing the fifteen years since then. In high school I started playing hockey. I’ve played in and watched my share of games filled with non-professional players. This has lead me to make several observations.
Many things have changed since kindergarten. Different arenas, players, equipment and of course the strategy involved in the game is completely different now. But don’t worry, there is always a bastion of stability on the field. No matter what sport is being played there will always be a pussy on the field who on the first time he makes even the slightest incidental contact with another player falls to the ground looking for a call. Every now and then you get a dive artist who puts a little emphasis on his dive with a resounding “WarrrGTTTTHHH!” when he “gets taken down”. The divers are bad enough. The noise makers even, worse but the absolute worst of the whole group are the players who take the dive and then turn around, look for a ref and hold their arms out like Jesus on the cross. Like the phantom foul is somehow akin to being crucified. When the ref looks at these clowns and shakes his head the diver picks himself off the ground and starts a belligerent verbal assault on the ref. The whole process may take only twenty seconds but hey, asshole? My team just controlled the ball and scored.
So friends, let’s all quit being pussies while we’re playing rec sports. You don’t need to dive for fouls, the game doesn’t matter. And if you do care about them so much, quit leaving your team a man short while you attempt to wash the sand out of your vagina on the field. Thanks a bunch.
Perhaps sports are just pissing me off because now that the Pistons got bounced by the heat and the Red Wings suffered another embarrassing early round loss I’m out of pro sports to be happy about. Short of waiting for annual penance, I mean the Lion’s season, to start I’m stuck rooting for the Tigers and frankly, I just don’t have that kind of faith yet. I’m still waiting for the while thing to fall apart.
Because The Domain Name Pleases Me
by Sharkey on June 7, 2006 @ 11:31 pm
Woot.com is having a woot-off.
Or at least, that’s what Bongweasel tells me. And since he’s basically my Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Internet, I trust his judgement that this is probably something worth paying a slight bit of attention to.
Just in case you’ve been living under a rock (with me… in which case hey, good to see you again my fellow shaded earth dweller) then you might want to check out woot. They normally have a different deal every day, in which they give ridiculous bargains. Once the sale is out of stock, it’s over until the next day, when a new product hits the website. But during a woot-off, they continue selling products as they come, and until they sell out. Currently it is stuck on a GPS system that one of you assholes needs to buy so that I can stop hitting refresh and go to sleep satisfied that the next product is equally worthless (but hopefully not) to me.