Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows

16 Comments on Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows

by on @ 3:54 am

They may as well call it Harry Potter and the Way Too Old to Pretend We’re 16 or Sober while she’s at it. Not like the title matters much, it’ll net her another half a billion dollars and even more once the movie finally makes its way to the screen. But for now, an official July 21st, 2007 release date for the final book in the series will just have to do for the rest of you.

Sorry, I’ll wait for the poorly adapted movie.

Spore DS, Castlevania PSP, and Other Erections

2 Comments on Spore DS, Castlevania PSP, and Other Erections

by on @ 3:09 am

Apparently the gaming industry wants to make amends for my Best Buy visit the other night. And they’re starting with a spot that’s close to my heart: handheld gaming.

  • Castlevania PSP – It’s essentially a 3D upscale of the 2D game (still has the 2D gameplay) Rondo of Blood for the PC-Engine/Turbografix 16. Not only do you get one of the best games in the series, rewrapped for the widescreen portable, but it comes free with a PSP version of Symphony of the Night.

    castlevania rondo of blood psp

    Looks like I won’t need to rip the PS1 version and use it on my hackified PSP after all. Here’s video of the game in action, in case you needed another reason.

  • Straight from EA: Spore is coming to the DS.

    Regarding both the Wii and Nintendo DS, Electronic Arts noted that the company has 15 SKUs in development for both platforms, including several original IP offerings. Confirmed titles in development for Nintendo platforms include My Sims for both the DS and Wii, Sim City, as well as official confirmation of a Nintendo DS version for Will Wright’s highly anticipated Spore.

  • Gamepro: Next-Gen Showdown – It’s a knock-down, drag out fight to the finish and the victor is:

    ….the PS3.

    ….. No seriously.

    I can see the author’s points on a few things. Sure, it has some major fucking titles coming out. Sure, it has hardware that can last for ten years. …but it won’t. When Nintendo and Microsoft decide to trade blows again in 5-6 years, Sony will be lacing up it’s gloves too, provided it doesn’t go the way of Sega. (it won’t) And unless that rumored price cut (rumored price hikes in Canada recently were debunked as Best Buy evils, not Sony’s) takes place, I’ll just have to do the unthinkable Sony.

    I just won’t fucking play Final Fantasy XIII. Yeah, you heard me. I won’t bother playing it. I don’t have to either. Out of the seven Sony-exclusive (cuts out the rereleases) Final Fantasy games, do you know how many I have beaten? Two. Two have held my interest beyond the oohs and ahhs to prod me into actual completion of the “epic” saga. Those two games my friends were VII and X. I haven’t beaten XII yet because… well, we got a 360 and a Wii. Zelda is a priority baby.

    Gamepro is basically hoping, with this article, that people will pay no attention to them… which we’ve all been pretty good at doing for the better part of two decades. Then after their longshot bet comes racing across the finish line in first place (or what it beleives to be first place) they can come running up saying “Ha! HA fucking HA! We told you we were legitimate!” Which is an excellent plan, Gamepro. Nice saving throw.

Bust Buy

6 Comments on Bust Buy

by on February 1, 2007 @ 9:09 pm

Went down to the local Best Buy the other day, hoping to spend a Christmas gift card and some of my disposable income on something sexy, useful, or a reasonable combination of the two.

Truth be told, I was really looking for a wifi bridge or a wifi gaming adapter (for multiple systems) to finally get our 360/Xbox/PS2 consoles online, since the cable modem and wifi router are stuck in the back of the house. I meandered around the store for a few minutes, being assaulted every ten feet by a blue shirted retard with an overly helpful look of “buy or leave” on his face. I eventually found myself in the networking department, and saw empty shelves where the gaming adapters once belonged. This was fine by me, as they seemed ridiculously overpriced for something as simple as a glorified bridge. I pondered the other selections possible while a blue shirt lumbered his way over to my personal space.

Blue Shirt: “How are you doin’ today? Can I help you find anything?”

Me: “Nah, just…” *thinks better of the canned brushoff, as this might be his one chance to shine* “…actualy yeah. Looks like you guys are out of wireless gaming adapters… I guess I’m just looking for a wifi bridge or something comparable. Do you have anything like that here?”

Blue Shirt: “Oh dude, I gotta say… Linksys is totally the way you should go. Top quality all the way.”

Me: “…..Right. So I’m looking for a wifi bridge.”

Blue Shirt: “Yup.” *beams with excitement*

Me: “……… …….. there aren’t any here.”

Blue Shirt: “OH… OK. Allow me.” *smug look plasters across his large, blue-clad visage* “…… Ah… ok….”

*we wait in silence, for at least 30 seconds*

Blue Shirt: “Aha! Yes, OK, here you go.” *hands me a Linksys Wireless Next Router*

Me: “…. and this helps me how?”

Blue Shirt: “This is totally what you need. This spreads your cable modem signal like… throughout the house. Just what I needed.”

Me: “OK but I have one of these… and it just spreads the signal around to any wireless devices. The game systems can’t reach it, and they aren’t wireless. Hence the need for a bridge.”

Blue Shirt: “Yeah dude. There you go.”

Me: “Alright, I’ll trust you here. So I use the wifi router as a bridge for the systems and have it use the other router as a gateway, right? Is that the gist of it? I’ve never done this before.”

Blue Shirt: “Just plug this into your cable modem and turn it on bro. You got it. Any other questions?”

Me: “…. no. I’m good. Thanks.”

This conversation was actually the highlight of my trip, as I spent the next 40 minutes or so (the gf was shopping at a clothes store across the strip mall) wandering around hoping for something worth my gift card non-currency. No Wii grips or controllers, they were all out of Rayman Wii and Brain Age DS. No good looking games that I don’t already own for the PSP, PS2, 360, or anything else for that matter. Shit, I couldn’t even find a good DVD worth wagering part of my gift card on… what a tragic fucking day this was. Not only was I deprived yet another opportunity to hop online with Rainbow Six: Vegas and dominate friends and the like… but there was nothing left to satisfy my consumer lust (and any surplus in my wallet) until that mission is succesful. What kind of fucking country are we becoming?

Make The Homiez Say Bomb, And The Girlies Wan’ Scream

13 Comments on Make The Homiez Say Bomb, And The Girlies Wan’ Scream

by on @ 8:12 pm

I was at lunch across the street, and behind my girlfriend’s head was a tv with some sort of bomb threat in Boston. It was too far away to read the fine print, so I wondered just what was going down in Beantown.

“Aqua Teen Hunger Force” Stunt Forces Bomb Scare In Boston

Electronic light boards featuring an adult-cartoon character triggered bomb scares around Boston on Wednesday, spurring authorities to close two bridges and a stretch of the Charles River before determining the devices were harmless.

Turner Broadcasting Co., the parent company of CNN, said the devices contained harmless magnetic lights aimed at promoting the late-night Adult Swim cartoon “Aqua Teen Hunger Force.” Law enforcement sources said the devices displayed one of the Mooninites, outer-space delinquents who appear frequently on the show, greeting visitors with a raised middle finger.

Best. Payoff. Ever.

Boston Sucks

Thank you for this, Boston.

Here Comes The BriiIIIIIIIEIIIDE!

21 Comments on Here Comes The BriiIIIIIIIEIIIDE!

by on January 29, 2007 @ 3:15 pm

Sometimes the Internet sucks the life out of you. Sometimes it sucks the life out of your penis. And then, there are some days, where you are very, very glad to have it.

It’s gonna be one of those days.




So did the bride finally get a sense of humor about the situation, or did she and the videotaping bridesmaid have a falling out? Based on what I know of women, the latter is the smarter bet.


Oh, and this is the best worst invention I’ve ever seen. Poor cat.