BAMF

Would somebody care to explain to me just what the fuck this jerkoff is babbling about?

For those of you who wanted the Picsel Browser that I mentioned earlier in the week, have at it.

Also, I put in the latest release of the Sirius Satellite Radio program for Windows Mobile for myself, so I figured one of you might appreciate it.

In the future, any Mogul owners might want to go ahead and bookmark this site and get yourself a nice account so you can download shit.

So after a nightmarish experience trying to get my broken phone replaced last week, I decided it was time to get myself a little upgrade. I wound up ordering the Mogul from Sprint, and after a bit of adjustment I’m really starting to like this little bastard.

The Good

First and foremost, it’s got a little slideout keyboard, which reorients the screen to landscape mode. It’s also got internet everywhere, and on a faster network than the iPhone. The combination of the touchscreen and keyboard is pretty handy, although I still haven’t quite gotten used to using the little alt key to enter numbers quickly though, I half to retard my way around the keypad until I remember how to do it.

I downloaded a bunch of cool free shit, like Pocket Putty and Google Maps Mobile which work exceptionally well. I hear that we’re getting a firmware update soon that will unlock the GPS thingy in there so that it can pinpoint your directions like the iPhone does.

Speaking of which, they’ve got Picsel on there, which pretty much emulates the rad point and zoom functions of the iPhone’s browser. Pretty keen. Right now I’m doing my best to get Windows 98 emulating on this thing so that I can start playing Warcraft 2.

Another plus is that it’s mildly complicated. Not so much that I can’t get around it, but it’s officially too much for someone like my girlfriend or sister to handle properly. This means that you don’t have to deal with people asking you to “check their myspace” because they’re the type of people who only browse to shit on their computer through the desktop icons. That little Windows insignia in the corner is just as mysterious on a small screen. Believe me, if they release some sort of iPhone-menuesque Today page (that’s the little desktop) I’m going to install that fucker and not tell a soul.

The Bad

This thing can be a bit frustrating. Touchscreen phones are just as annoying as you’d expect, so get used to using the voice dial button. Speaking of which, that voice dial button is the work of Satan himself. They put it in the exact spot where your fingers wind up a lot of the time, so you are constantly hitting it by accident and hearing the stupid beeping noise. I just remapped that motherfucker, I didn’t have time to figure out how to be more graceful with the thing.

I also can’t figure out how to get it to ring and vibrate. It seems to want to do one, but not the other.

Since a lot of the software is open source third-party and not ruthlessly controlled like anything for the iPhone, there’s a lot of it that doesn’t run perfectly well. Some things were designed for different types of phones and then just ported on over, because who’s got time to test these fucking things on 80 different phones?

That’s about all I have to say at the moment. Once I get Warcraft II running on this fucker, I’ll most likely buy a tin shed somewhere and begin my slow descent into mildly insane hermitude.

We’re celebrating my sisters birthday and giving her send off as she country hops to finish college. The only appropriate venue for such a simultaneously pertinent event, and that’s Vegas.

Upon arrival at the Nugget, the girlfriend and I were bumped up to a two story suite. I’m currently posting this from the jacuzzi that overlooks a gigantic view of their new pool slash aquarium thing. There’s a bar, two bathrooms, a bidet, mirrored ceilings, and a private steam room.

After all the years of pilfering my pocket, Vegas gave something back. Now I’m really afraid. Our relationship was much like the tithing plate to a young Catholic parishioner. One donates his change out of love and respect. The other invents new ways to take said freely given monies in the most ass rapingly painful way possible. This room is like a giant tube of KY… who knows what Vegas plans to violate me with next?

How about the Statue of Liberty head from Planet of the Apes? Craving some Soylent Green? Profiles in History auction on Ebay has a butt-ton of sweet ass movie props and memorabilia for sale.

Do you think it was a bigger feat to break 2000 yards in one season or slice 2 necks in one night?

Glad to know that his quest for the real killer is still going strong. The Bill Walsh thing brought the lol.

When I read that post by Peaches, I wished deep down that she had somehow hit the reset button on the Internet and set us back to 5 years ago when we first posted it. (I read it again and laughed anyway)

I’ve been spending some time dipping into the archives, trying to find the inspiration to post here again and save you from the rampant internet boredom that currently afflicts yours truly. Every Goddamned site on the web seems to be the same thing these days, it’s like a lampoon of what BAMF (and admittedly a bajillion other sites) used to be. And we were a fucking lampoon in the first place, so we really didn’t need any more focus in that area.

We talk a lot about celebrities, their tits, and their various rap sheets. But even that has become boring and repetitive. Ooh look, Lindsay Lohan got arrested and Britney went apeshit. Christ, the shamefully bogus Miss Cleo could have predicted both of those events in her sleep and still had time to fake her Rastafarian twang. Just look at the big “celebrity gossip” sites today, it’s the same fucking thing across all of them. Dina Lohan is getting sued, a bunch of non-involved doctors think that Britney is crazy, Tara Reid has a disgusting figure, and Heidi Montag is their version of a running gag. Here’s a hint cocksuckers, if you didn’t care then you wouldn’t put up her blatantly posed “paparazzi” photos.

Then you’ve got funny web videos. I don’t know, something about the advent of Youtube and their ilk, I’ve just not found it very necessary to share shit like Chocolate Rain and its vast array of clever parodies. We have a fairly hefty youtube thread for that, which probably has about 70 posts to go before Raygun (yeah, he’s alive. i owe someone 20 bucks.) burns it out of spite and then we start anew.

I don’t know, it just seems like everything has been done to death. Maybe its me, maybe its getting older, but everything out there just bores me to tears. Someone entertain me for once, please. Daddy needs it.

lots of good lines- too many to point out

Little humor to kick off the weekend
ha

Kid Struck By Lightning While Playing Mortal Kombat, Raiden Not Involved

Ho Ho, funnyman. This poor kid dies, and everyone makes fun of him just because the circumstances are hilarious? Is that what we’ve come to as a society?

Good. It’s about time everyone else caught up.

The Weekly World News is closing up shop.

Remember, “this paper has facts” (name that movie).

Publisher American Media Inc. said on Tuesday it will stop printing the Weekly World News, which for 28 years gleefully chronicled the exploits of alien babies, animal-human hybrids and dead celebrities.

The company said in a brief statement it would end the print version of the tabloid newspaper next month but would maintain the online version

Honestly, seeing the crazy ass cover stories about Bat Boy and President Visiting Aliens always made the checkout stand just a little less depressing.