[ Johnny Cash. Desperado. Monkey On A Horse. ]
This… this just makes me happy inside. I can’t describe that happiness, you just have to experience it for yourself. Commendable work.
Fucking College Kids
by Sharkey on @ 10:59 am
[ The Freshman 15 Challenge ] – Dear sweet Jesus. These kids have got the wrong fucking idea. You’ve got it backwards, you stupid bastards! Backwards!
Good Thing We Killed Chris O’Donnell
by Sharkey on August 25, 2004 @ 3:51 pm
The latest fan-trailer Grayson is sweeping the Net like crabs through a brothel. And it’s actually pretty damn good. Far more of a story idea than the whole “Batman: Dead End” trailer, although the guy does subscribe to that trailer’s wanton usage of outside characters simply for “HOLY SHIT OMFG@#%R@#” factor. I was feeling it right up until the damned lasso.
CD Review: the F-Ups – “Screw You”
by Jester on @ 3:40 pm
Y’know, I had high hopes for this band. They cover a Mott the Hoople song, they’ve got a pretty cool promo photo on the back of their disc… then things started to jump out at me. Things like- they’re called the F-Ups, not the Fuck-Ups; the cd is entitled Screw You, not Fuck You… yeah. Then I put it in the cd player.
Yeah, Screw You kinda sucks. It’s not that it’s a complete waste of time to listen to it, really, so much as it’s just really dull. It sounds like the F-Ups would give anything to be Madcap or the Swingin’ Utters. Unfortunately, they sound more like New Found Glory covering the Swingin’ Utters. It’s just kind of weak. They’ve got the look down, but the sound is terribly lacking.
CD Review: Engine Down – “self-titled”
by Jester on @ 12:59 pm
My brother Steve loves Engine Down. I’m slowly coming around to see why he does. They play some dense music. While creeping into the “indie-metal/screamo/post-hardcore” genre by the skin of their teeth, Engine Down does not play music that’s easily accesible.
Frankly, I’m all for some dense music. Engine Down layers their music. They start with melodic vocals- and these cats can sing. None of that screaming bullshit for them, no sir. The guitars are fast-moving, but not punk rock fast, or metal show-off fast. It’s a pace similar to that of Helmet, but without the chugging freight train riffage. Drums are kept sparce and inobtrusive. They keep things interesting by throwing in the occasional accent, such as the strings in “In Turn.”
Engine Down’s self-titled is a damn fine record. It’s a step up from the easily understood Poison the Well or Thursday. This is music for the fans of the post-hardcore genre who want to avoid music that doesn’t challenge their ears.
Oh…. Oh God No
by Sharkey on @ 9:32 am
[ Playboy To Do Video Game Chicks Spread ] – Why Hef? WHY?!?!
Her name’s Bloodrayne and she’ll make her naked debut alongside a feature in the upcoming issue of the men’s magazine.
Joining her in the CGI photospread (which will accompany an article about the changing face of gaming) will be a handful of gaming characters. While not all the characters will appear in the pixilated buff, you can expect a lot of come hither looks from some butt-kicking women, including familiar faces from Midway’s “Mortal Kombat” franchise, Namco’s “Tekken” series and Vivendi’s upcoming “Red Ninja” and “Leisure Suit Larry: Magna Cum Laude”. (See the accompanying pop-up gallery for some of the characters that were submitted to the magazine.)
*Puts head in hands and sighs*
…
*Looks towards pants*
STOP STIRRING DOWN THERE! No! Bad! Wrong!
As If There Weren’t Enough Fat Nerds
by Sharkey on @ 9:27 am
[ Free Krispy Kremes For ‘A’ Students ] – Just ensuring that the already persecuted nerdy children will grow all the fatter, likely to further slide them down the social ladder. And little Suzy thought she’d cure cancer one day. Sorry sweetie, you’ll be too busy fighting that eating disorder and/or diabetes. And that’s just your late twenties.
I’m totally getting a Krispy Kreme on my way to work tomorrow, btw.
*Cue Crappy Tina Turner Music*
by Sharkey on @ 9:18 am
OK, now there is definitely a good reason to buy the Nintendo DS. Well, possibly a good reason. Well, speculatively a good reason. Fuck, alright, I guess its nothing more than a fanboy’s wet dream, but they may be doing a conversion of N64 Goldeneye for the new handheld. Tasty.
Everyone’s dreams has finally come true. GCA has confirmed once-fabled rumors with our close contacts at Electronic Arts:
* Goldeneye for the Nintendo DS is being developed and published by Electronic Arts with it being exclusive to Nintendo.
* Goldeneye DS is based on the classic multi-million N64 hit.
* It will allow multiplayer between 8-16 players at a time, possibly even allowing for wi-fi internet play.
* It is unknown if the game is being built from scratch or based on the original engine.
They had better mean 2-16 players for multiplayer, because I doubt I’m going to know that many people who own a DS and Goldeneye. If that’s the case, I’d just stick with the N64 version. Oh, and they should put out the next-gen version of Perfect Dark one of these days, before I lose my thirst for alien blood.
Oh, and if Goldeneye utilizes the stylus for movement like the new (and completely useless to me) Metroid DS, I’m going to rip out a developer’s Goddamn eyes with the little pen and cram them up Harry Knowles’ ass, so they can see the anal equivalent of the cruel horrors that they have unleashed upon the world.
Sharkey Wantee!
by Sharkey on August 24, 2004 @ 4:17 pm
[ Your Mouse Is A Fucking Pussy ] – Dammit! I just plunked down the cash for the MX700, and they come out with this thing.
Question. Since this thing uses laser technology, will I be able to blind anybody around me? Don’t get me wrong, I love everyone I work with, but some clients are pretty much blind (towards design, anyway) as it is, may as well take it to the next level. Then they can sue Logitech. Then that will teach Logitech to stop putting out such awesome stuff. We all win! Well, not really. But it’d be a fucking awesome story to tell when you’re drunk.
Bing Bang, Walla Walla Bing Bang
by Sharkey on @ 2:03 pm
LONGTIME just sent in a story about a charming Tanzanian fellow who went to a witch doctor, looking to get powers that would make him bulletproof. Maybe over in Tanzania they have SPAM that’s different than our standard P3nis P1lls and V1agra ads. Anyway, the guy’s dead. Darwinism wins again.
A Tanzanian who went to a witch doctor in search of the power to resist bullets and knife attacks died when ritual cuts made on his body proved fatal.
He was one of four suspected robbers from a village in Kasulu district in western Tanzania who visited the witch doctor on a quest for magic, the African newspaper reported Tuesday.
The witch doctor fled after the man died Monday from profuse bleeding, the newspaper said, adding that the three survivors were arrested when they went to a hospital.
If any of you have that God-awful “I saw the witch doctor” song stuck in your heads after reading that title, then my work here is done. I can’t suffer alone, you bastards.