BAMF

America Rules! 

Am I the only one who wants to see Lee and Anne Marie from those e-Harmony commercials go down in horrific flames? I could be on board with their supposed love if Lee didn’t look like he popped every single collar from 2002 up until about four months before he met this chick. The more I know about the two of them, the more I wish he’d met oncoming traffic as opposed to this fairly cute brunette.

If he ever dies in some horrific fashion, one of you bastards let me know. We’re crashing the funeral.

How else can one explain this bullshit?

Family of faggot fans fly the flag

“The nation knows that the Cornish pasty, Yorkshire pudding, haggis and fish and chips are great British dishes, but all too often the faggot is left off that list,” said Janet Doody.

Her husband Fred added: “It’s unfair because faggots were a British delicacy long before any of the others.

“The great British faggot is full of flavour and a great belly warmer at this time of year.”

Are you fucking serious? Give the guy who wrote this a fucking medal for teh funney.

Update: shit, I just realized that this was an article from 2003. Still funny though.

Not as good as his performance on MTV when he pissed in a corner drunk on his scooter, but the Mini-Me sex tape is about to hit!

Oh and for the win, notice the book “The Power of the Actor” in the background. Hahahaha!

I am one of those people who actually goes through the spam filter to see what kinds of crazy shit shows up. Today I was rewarded with a true gem of an email subject line.

Badboner. Awesome.

George Carlin Died.

And the world becomes slightly more family-friendly. Tragic.

Death Star Lego Set: $399

Quick, one of you leave me $400 in your will (plus tax) and then throw yourself off a bridge! While supplies last!

Yeah, I know. Exciting, right? I meant to get this set up the other day, but I was too busy touching myself with glee that we finally get a chance to see China Chow’s….chowbags. Apparently last weekend the paparazzi caught Keanu Reeves out on a beach with a strikingly choice Asian female of unknown origin. I didn’t pay much attention to the thumbnails at first, because frankly who gives a shit about what Keanu Reeves is whoa-ing these days. You can imagine my self-loathing when I realized that it was China, my #1 Asian crush and the daughter of L.A. restaurateur Mr. Chow.

I do believe that this signals the return of my nudity clairvoyance, as I quoted The Big Hit way more times than usual last weekend and was disappointed to be met with blank stares of ignorance at each iteration. I think this was the Universe balancing things out for me. For all of us, really. Next weekend I’m going to pick out some obscure Jessica Biel movies to quote, just to test out this theory, though I don’t think anyone will be pleased to hear me quoting Stealth.

…nor will I be pleased to admit that I watched Stealth.

I mean I for one am totally shocked! SHOCKED! that someone could love cheetos that fucking much.

Because I know you will want more.  Is it just me, or did Bill Murray do the voiceover for this?