[ Chocolate-Coated Highway Creates Traffic Havoc ]
Northbound lanes of a highway south of Rochester were closed for five hours last night after a tanker truck crashed and spilled 45,000 pounds of liquid chocolate. State police say there were no serious injuries in the crash.
Troopers say the truck driver swerved to avoid a deer. The truck, from M & M Mars in Elizabethtown, Pa., rolled over and the tanker split, spilling its load.
A road grader had to be brought in to scrape up the chocolate, which also covered a bridge and a car on another road below. The fire chief said it smelled like a Hershey bar — but no nuts.
I won’t say it. I won’t.
Unintentional Racism Kicks Ass!
by Sharkey on November 9, 2004 @ 4:08 pm
Billy Ray gave me a call a little earlier, and mentioned the hostage situation at the Mexican consulate in LA. The guy was shot, and the hostages were let go, but there was something awfully funny in the foxnews article regarding the situation. Here, I will present it to you, by giving you the beginning and ending paragraphs of the article, unaltered. Enjoy.
First ¶: A man demanding media attention took a female employee hostage at the Mexican consulate Tuesday before he was wounded by police outside the building. The hostage escaped unharmed.
Last ¶: “I just dropped the tamales, and we got out of there,” she said.
Nice.
Since We Missed Tara Reid’s Birthday…
by Sharkey on @ 3:21 pm
Yeah yeah yeah, Tara Reid had a titty slip the other day, in a brilliantly horrific piece of PR wizardry. If this wasn’t a stunt conceived by her publicist, then the bitch is on coke. Lots and lots of coke. Because no woman could fucking sit around with their tit hanging out and a loose fitting dress around her arms without thinking “hey… its a bit drafty.” Shit, even if her newly purchased tits were rendered completely insensetive to the elements during the salinification process, she might notice that the dress fell off her shoulders and landed around her goddamned ankles.
Anyway, I threw up a gallery (thank zuzu for the pics) of the now infamous incident, for the five of you that haven’t seen the pics yet. Personally I don’t like having so many pictures of bad nipples on my server, but sometimes you have to make sacrifices in the name of science.
Yeah. I’m a scientist now. What of it, bitch?
Dammit.
by Sharkey on @ 3:13 pm
So yeah… I’m weak.
So let’s see. List of games to finish:
- Ninja Gaiden
- Chronicles Of Riddick
- Fable
- Tony Hawk Underground 2
- Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas
- Halo 2
I present those in chronological order, because each one has taken the place of it’s predecessor, in many cases just days away from completion. I’m sure there was something prior to Ninja Gaiden, but I believe that TV and video games have sapped what little memory I had left in order to make room for hand-eye coordination skills and the locations of oysters on the GTA map.
So yeah, so I wonder how far I’ll get through my latest 3 games before KOTOR II comes out?
On my radio
by Jester on @ 3:07 pm
I posted about Indie 103.1FM in LA a while back, and I think that if you liked that, you might be ready for a really indie radio station. It’s time for you all to delve into the exciting world of… COLLEGE RADIO!
School is about halfway through the fall session all across the country, meaning that college radio stations are finally getting their new recruits broken in.
For those of you out there not fortunate enough to live in a college town, you’re really missing something. There’s just something different about college radio, as opposed to your usual Clear Channel owned piece of crap. College radio will not play the same 40 songs all day, all week. College radio does not bombard you with the new Britney Spears single three times in one hour (an actual occurrence on one Kansas City radio station). There’s no morning drive-time show, featuring loudmouth asses making the same jokes day after day after fucking day.
This is not to say that college radio stations are the be-all, end-all of radio goodness. Lord knows, you give up a bit when you listen to one of them. Those cool-sounding, well-spoken djs that keep you entertained? Yeah… there’s probably one of them amongst the thirty or forty djs working at the station. And they probably work the 2am-4am slot on Wednesday mornings.
The rest of the on-air “talent†is more likely to skew towards the most awkward music geeks on the face of the planet or mind-numbingly dull and uninformed broadcast journalism majors. The former is going to use “um†and “uh†and “er†about four or five times per sentence spoken, bit will have a pithy comment or interesting tidbit about most of the music they play. The latter will be able to speak well, but will know next to nothing about the music they play, even to the point of mispronouncing band names, or out and out fucking up of band names. My personal favorites being the dj that referred to Gorky’s Zygotic Mimcy as Gorky’s Psychotic Monkey, and the guy who pronounced Cibo Matto (“cheebow mah-toe”) as “Seebo Matto.”
Of course, this is the price you pay for getting to hear interesting music. Seriously, is there any other sort of radio station, other than college stations, where you can hear White Zombie, the Mountain Goats, Oingo Boingo, and DJ Shadow in the same twenty minute block? And, hell, at least at the station here in Lawrence (that would be the University of Kansas’ station, KJHK 90.7FM), you get a request filled in about ten minutes.
I’d also be remiss in my commentary were I to exclude the idea of specialty programming. On damn near every college radio station I’ve had the chance to hear, there’s been a wealth of special shows. These programs cover the gamut- everything from hip-hop to electronica to ska to metal to politics to sex.
Tune into KJHK Monday mornings 9am-noon Central standard time for the station’s Breakfast For Beatlovers, with Curtis, perhaps the best dj ever. He’ll play techno, reggae, soul, breakbeats, and hip-hop so smoothly, it’ll blow your mind. Tusday afternoons 2-4pm with Thaddius Maximus will also do much to break down any misconceptions you might have of college radio djs. The guy seems to enjoy himself, and plays good music.
Live Review: Big D & the Kids Table 11.08.04
by Jester on @ 2:47 pm
“Thank you for listening to the muzak Big D & the Kids Table.”
-Dave McWane
So, here’s a bit of advice for show promoters: do not book shows outdoors, near a river, in Kansas, in November. Also, please have the common decency to not charge eight fucking dollars for a one-band show under the aforementioned circumstances. That being said, seeing Big D & the Kids Table at the Gaslight Tavern here in Lawrence last night was a really nice start-of-the-week treat. There’s something about being at a show where’s there’s less than 20 people to make it feel really special. The fact that the heaters didn’t work and that the Free State Brewing Co. Ad Astra Ale is plenty strong also led to me feeling “special.”
Anyhow, Big D made the best of the night and played a shortened set with plenty of energy and… well… beer. Still, the band managed to put on an energetic show, although they didn’t move much due to the Gaslight’s tiny stage, as well as the more-than-usual amaount of clothing everyone was wearing. The waiting for the show to start was almost as much fun as the set itself. I hung around the merch table, talking with merchman extraodinaire, Michael J. If you get the chance to see Big D, seek the man out and chat him up, as he’s really easy to talk to, and has hella good stories to tell. He’ll also sell ya Big D’s merch (I got myself a swank new beanie for ten bucks).
Like I said, it was nice to get to see these guys live, especially since they’ve put out an EP and a full-length in the four years since I’ve seen them. The old songs sound better, and the new stuff is amazing live. The set was about half audience-requested tunes, too. I’m none too fond of their newly released How It Goes, but live, the tracks sound fucking amazing. “We All Have to Burn Something” is a fantastic spoken word rant that was probably the highlight of the set for me, mainly because my call for “51 Gardner” was shouted down nearly unanimously by the band. Dammit.
the setlist:
Little Bitch
Evil Girl Angry Girl
You Lost, You’re Crazy
Are You Just Scared?
Cuteshow
We All Have To Burn Something
Find Out
Chicago
New England
She Won’t Ever Figure It Out
Bender
No, I Wanted The Beer ON YOU, Not Your Comp Tab
by Sharkey on @ 3:09 am
[ Virtual Bartender ] – When I asked her to pour beer on her titties, I really thought she was going to do it. Dumbass. That’s why she gets such shitty tips. Although typing in “lick yourself” was entertaining. This thing could kill about three minutes of your time, easily.
**UPDATE** …fuck that. It’s all about “fight” and “french kiss.”
Slice Of The Day: Salma Hayek
by Sharkey on @ 2:47 am
While watching the Vikings game, Bolt and I caught a commercial for the new Salma Hayek flick, After the Sunset. The movie may look like total ass, but they sure knew how to market it: a nice opening shot of Salma cleavage, followed by many, many tight shirts.
…many.
We went on to discuss the fact that Salma here is probably the hottest girl to ever come out of Mexico, which makes her their most valuable export. That’s right, burritos and cheap labor are nothing compared to the powers contained within that tight little body. And considering how much I love burritos and cheap labor, you better believe I’ve thought long and hard about this.
Slice Of The Day: Carmen Electra
by Sharkey on November 8, 2004 @ 9:06 pm
Ah yes, I forgot in all the hubbub surrounding today’s server outage that I needed to bring you pie. What a jackass. Here’s some delicious Carmen Electra, and thanks to EvilPoda, even more Carmen Electra. That last gallery is rather spicy btw, filled with the latest Playboy goodness, so watch out at work. Which is good advice from me, since it’s almost 9 at fucking night.
So yeah, thank EvilPoda. As for me, I’m going back to the bar next door and having another brew. Hopefully by then, the Goddamned Vikings will have pulled it together.
Jesus
by Sharkey on @ 6:50 pm
This is what we get for having a cardboard box with a network card for a server. Hopefully it stays up this time. Complaints are going out as we speak.