One Armed People That Could Kick Your Ass

Shit man, I thought I had a bad night. [ Linky ] (belated thanks to Irish)

Ralston was climbing Saturday in Blue John Canyon, adjacent to Canyonlands National Park in far southeastern Utah, when a 200-pound boulder fell on him, pinning his right arm, authorities said.

Using his pocketknife, he amputated his arm below the elbow and applied a tourniquet and administered first aid.

He then rigged anchors, fixed a rope and rappelled to the canyon floor.

Let me reiterate here. The fucker amputated his own arm, applied a touniquet, then rappelled down a fucking canyon. Most people, when told that their arm might have to be amputated, would cry like a schoolgirl with a black eye and then wet themselves. Let alone grab a knife and start hackin’. Shit, if the average person had to wait more than five minutes for a nurse to bring ’em some aspirin they’d raise a stink and start bitching about HMOs.

Kudos to you, one armed guy. Here’s hoping you get a book deal.

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Categorized as News

By Sharkey

I run bamf.

16 comments

  1. 5 daysWell after being pinned for five days I’m sure he had no feeling the arm before he finally decided to amputate….but I digress still a hard decision to make.

  2. Holy shitThat guy is my hero, he could kick Shaft’s ass with ease.He’d even know what was in the case.

  3. Missing armI wonder if this thing will pop up on ebay in a few days, that is if animals havn’t already devoured it. I bet it could fetch just as much, or more, than that pack of african slaves being sold a awhile back.God bless america. And ebay.

  4. the one armed man killed my wife…and he cut if off with a pocket knife!! I work in pharmaceuticals and have had to cut off monkey arms during necropsy, and let me tell you, that’s not easy to do, even with a saw…

  5. Whoa!Its a crazy thing.. Unimaginable to me really.. I cant even comprehend how he would even feel while cutting his arm off with a pocketknife. It had to take forever and was probably very sloppy. & a pocketknife aint gonna cut through no bone.. Yikes! Kudos to him. After he feels well.. He should just be able to request whatever he wants and get it. Period. heh.

  6. You suckCVBearJKR!Hey bud. Thanks for wasting like, oh, 30 seconds of my existance. Reading that post was, aside from my castration, the lowest point of the past 19 years of my life. Interestingly enough, this does not please me. In fact, it really burns my non-existant balls bro. Just watch yer ass chief cuz I won’t think twice to drop a 200lbs boulder on your richard simmons lustin, salad tossin, tinkerbell fairy ass. So go back to living your sordid life, and collect homeless men’s underwear for all I care. Just friggin shut your mouth. You damned lamo. Grow a pair of balls, your vagina must be killing you…eh?

  7. another thingApparently, that pocket knife did cut through \”no bone\”, CVBearJKR. Lamo.

  8. Some thoughtsFirst off daemoon, CVBear wasn’t dissing the dude, so I don’t know what your problem is. Secondly, chances are that he did not cut through bone with his pocket knife. Think about it… a boulder crushed your arm, pinning it. My bet is that the boulder broke his arm, so when he amputated it, he just cut away the muscle and other tissues. And even if he did have to go through bone, it still holds true that the knife wouldn’t cut through the bone, he would have to saw through it with the knife.Nonetheless, it’s an amazing feat in itself, and he deserves all the positive attention he is getting. One more thing, why are you concerned about his masturbation issues?

  9. Hold up HolmesI wasnt saying that CVBear was dissing the amputee. I was saying that his mindless babble was a waste of my time. Your analysis was more readable btw. Maybe he did cut through the bone with his pocket knife or his teeth. It makes no matter how. Masterbation is important, Just so ya know.

  10. cutting and sawingTry cutting a steak with a large steak knife, then try cutting it with a pencil. That’s about the difference between cutting an arm with a saw with large sharp teeth, and cutting one with a small pocket knife…

  11. Think Swiss armyHere is a random thought I thought someone else touched on. Swiss Army Knife, How small of one do you need to buy to NOT have a saw blade? Those bad boys with the double row teeth cut bone sized branches real nice.

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