Old Milwaukee > A Tards Life

Nothing comeshh between me an' my Calvinsshh... *buuuurp* I uh... I mean boozzshe.Cultural Darwinism at work is a delicious part of this nutritious breakfast. Special thanks to Jerimiah for sending in the latest recipient of “life shoving you down the staircase.” Observe:

A rush hour accident brought traffic to a halt on the Southwest Freeway.

Around 4:30 Tuesday afternoon, a man was struck by a black Chevy truck. The driver stopped to render aid to the victim. Police say the man who was hit was running across the freeway chasing after a partially empty can of beer.

The victim was taken to Memorial Hermann Hospital where he is listed in critical condition. No word if the driver will face any charges.

Face any charges? For doing society a favor? If I were the judge, I’d personally give the guy the next four parking tickets free just for going to the hospital and finishing the job. I’m sory I’m such an unsympathetic bastard, but if you’re running across a crowded freeway chasing a half-full Pabst Blue Ribbon, you deserve an early shove off the mortal coil. Preferably delivered by angry bees, or the grill of a speeding Chevy, whichever you prefer.

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Categorized as News

By Sharkey

I run bamf.

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