No Bite! NO BITE!

I just got an email from John who tells me that I should “stop slacking”. He’s probably right, I’ve been working on the backend shit for this site the last few days when I probably should have been posting. Lord knows I could have been mocking those Linux geeks trying to blackmail Microsoft or thanking my lucky stars that I was too lazy to go pick up Star Wars Galaxies the first day it came out (I learned that lesson from the sack-tap that was Tribes 2). But when readers like John send in a link regarding a guy getting the scrotum bitified, you know I’m going to have to break my silence.

The man from Whitwell Tennessee who had his scrotum chewed off by his so-called live-in housekeeper has decided to drop domestic assault charges.

The Sheriff said the couple got into a scuffle and the woman first bit Mr. Reese on the leg, then proceeded to bite his penis and scrotum. Ms. Burnette chewed off a large chunk of skin from Mr. Reese’s scrotum, then ran out to the front porch where she spit the skin to the dogs in the front yard, and one of them ate it according to Sheriff Burnette.

Call me crazy, but I’m the sort of guy that likes to keep business and pleasure separate. And even crazier, I have a definite affection for keeping business and tooth-to-sack contact separate. Particularly when it comes to my fucking housekeeper. Although I guess in the South, live-in housekeeper is just another word for “woman who cleans up your shit and takes your money”, aka: the wife. And just like the prison matron that is a wife, the live-in housekeeper can sometimes take out her aggression on the little Southerner, or his two best friends.

The best part about this article is the goddamn comments. If there wasn’t enough of a reason to napalm Tennessee, now we’ve got an overabundance.