Honestly, during times of war they must snort twice the amount of cocaine in Hollywood. There’s no other explanation. Fellow MoFo Xoff wrote in to say “I need to finish removing my eyes from their sockets, now…” regarding this latest travesty to be planned for the big screen. Would you beleive, 32 Candles?
USA Network is currently wrapping up the development of a 16 Candles sequel called…erm…32 Candles. Seriously. After cleaning the vomit from my lap, I learned the “plot”, thin as it is, this is all I was able to find out, so here goes:
Molly Ringwald (she’s on board for sure, and her attachment is kinda vital, I suppose) moves back to her hometown, and starts pining away (very vague, I know) for her boyfriend Jake, who she apparently followed to college. It didn’t work out for reasons I’m still not aware of, and she subsequently lost touch with him.
Anthony Michael Hall, the triumphant hero rolls in, now a multi-millionaire vis-a-vis inventing some goddamn fancy-dancy search engine (‘like Google’ is how it was described to me) and…apparently hilarity ensues?
We should all pool our money together and purchase the rights to the sequels of the brat pack flicks, the American Ninja films, and anything that had Andrew McCarthy in it. Then we head to the top of a raging volcano. We throw in the rights, we throw in the actors/actresses attached to the films, and any writers/producers who would be tapped for such endeavors (sorry John Hughes). Then we film them burning alive, and distribute the tapes to Hollywood moguls everywhere as a lesson. Sober up you pricks, or face the volcano.
Two weeks after that, you know some dickhead would start making calls about scraping together a script for Joe Versus The Volcano II. But then we’d sue for concept theft.
wrestlingSo I wrestled my older brother at a party tonight, and he fucking TITTY TWISTERED me, and his friend still called it a pin for him! What the shit is that?