I know, with the holiday season upon us it seems that I haven’t been very attentive to you, my thousands upon thousands of Internet lovers. Tis a shame, but between work and fighting whordes of angry mothers at the mall, I’ve had no time to even surf for pr0n. I know, it’s alright. Sacrifices must be made.
However, last night after wearing out the lil’ woman I realized that her car needed to be moved (goddamn homeowners association and their towing nazis). So I, the chivalrous one (or the only person who was awake) decided to take a cold, barefoot 2am drive from one parking spot to the next. When I arrived at my destination, I realized that in my sleep deprived haze I had foolishly forgotten my own keys. After trying unsuccessfully to wake up my sleeping girlfriend, (including throwing rocks at my own windows for ten minutes) I had to actually drive across the Goddamn street to In-n-Out to find a payphone. I tried her cell phone about 8 times to no avail, so I started calling my phone. On the third ring, she finally picked up. Joy washed over my face immediately. And just as immediately, she hung it up. …fuck. I called again, it was immediately hung up. Five more times I was hung up on, until she finally decided to answer.
“H-Hello?” she answered, obviously frightened.
“Why the FUCK have you been hanging up every goddamn time I’ve called?”
“I..I thought you were a prank caller!” Great. Not only am I freezing my balls off, but now my girlfriend has decided to go retarded. It took a total of thirty frozen minutes to get inside, but it did teach me a valuable lesson. Don’t neglect your readers, or you may find yourself half naked and shoeless outside In N Out at 2am wishing for death. Or, the death of someone special to you.
Merry Christmas.
you what??the suspense is killing me! what happened when you arrived at your destination? it’s not fair!
I…neglected to finsih the post?
Silly silly.I don’t even know WHY you had to ask what he did then.He got in to his house, and got into his GF. Through the back door.That will teach her.
Ouch.Merry Christmas to you Sharkey.
lolThat is funny as hell. What would the holidays be without the opportunity to laugh at another half-naked misfortune.I mean that in the best possible way of course. :]
Hmmm…I’m just curious as to how you locked yourself Sharkey..how did you lock the door if you didnt have your keys..and..why would you lock a door to park a car.. Course, you may have a good reason, in which case im a total jackass, but its 1am, and I feel like some good ol’ fashion harassment.