My Bumbling Sidekick

OK, so I bragged up and down last year around October when I added the Danger Sidekick to my family of technological deliciousness. While a lot of owners had problems ranging from broken keys to the mobile handhelds attempting to eat little Billy, I was nearly problem free. With the exception of the occasional exorbitant bill, I was completely happy with the little bastard. Then it finally happened two months ago. My sidekick broke. Now this was fine, since the little wheel had sunken in and that was grounds for a free replacement from T-Mobile. But ever since I got this new unit, shit has been getting stranger and stranger.

Take last week, for instance. I was sitting at home, waiting for some important calls. Ever vigilant, I was attempting to free the universe from the evil clutches of a Sith Lord (so that they could fall into my evil clutches the next day) in Star Wars: KOTOR, while the phone sat ringless and lonely. I made a few calls throughout the day inbetween working and lightsabering, so I know that I had a good strong signal. However, when I finally left to hit the gym, my phone went absolutely fucking nuts. If any of you have a Sidekick, you know that it goes “NEW MESSAGE!” at you when a voicemail comes in. Well imagine if the fucker said it about 8 times in a row. Every single day since, it seems that the stupid thing allows only a few calls to come through, while shoving the rest to voicemail and only delivering the message to me at around 5 o’clock. It’s like I have the world’s laziest secretary for a phone, and it doesn’t even wear tight skirts or give me head.

So anyways, aside from it acting possessed by pulling up random webpages, losing bits of the screen, and telling me that my breath is rank, things are still somewhat palatable. Yes, the reception gets worse by the day and I can’t even make a single phone call without yelling “WHAT?!? WHO IS THIS?!?” repeatedly, but I’m kind of forgiving. And lazy. But then comes the real kick in the fucking pants. My bill comes from T-Mobile for the month of July. Mind you, my service plan is for a cool 39.95 per month. Anyone care to make a wager as to the service charges this month?

$236.11

Thats right. Nearly $200 bucks more than my monthly payment. These fucks are trying to tell me that my OVERAGE for peak minutes comes to about 11 hours. I can’t speak on the goddamned thing for five minutes before tossing it away in disgust at the reception, let alone amassing 11 hours in thirty fucking days.

So now I’ve got a shitty phone with kickass internet access, and a bill that rivals my car payment. Any thoughts on what I should do, aside from skewering the first T-Mobile representative I come across with a animal-feces-covered-pike? I could easily dump the phone, but fucking Hell, would I miss the email and web access. Get another phone? Get a better rate plan? Tear out my local dealer’s eyes and donkey punch his wife? *sigh* Decisions, decisions.

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Categorized as News

By Sharkey

I run bamf.

12 comments

  1. TMOBILE SUCKS DONKEY BALLSI’ve sold cell phones for 9 months. Here’s what you need to do. 1- Dump T-Mobile. They blow dogs for quarters.2- Get anyone besides T-Mobile. Probably Sprint or Verizon, GSM wont stick in the US. Also, their wireless internet is about twice as fast as shitty GSM.3- Get any color phone, pretty much all of them support web and email. Although you do lose the handy-dandy keyboard. There is a handful of phones that do support a keyboard attachment. Plus you can take pics of your girlfriend naked and post them online without her knowing. Especially since most of the phones have a camera, the best being a 2.1 megapixel. 4- Send hordes of monkeys to kill everyone @ T-Mobilefin.

  2. nokia 6800But that thing only does WAP enabled sites, right? Dammit, I don’t want to carry two phones around, but I can’t do without being able to access anything. It’s just too useful right now.

  3. Same ProblemI share 2 of your problems.I always get the \”New Message\” a few hours after the message was placed, even though at that time I knew I had the phone on and never heard it ring. happens to about 70% of my calls actually.And then yes, the bill. I never talk on the thing, only web. IF I do talk, it’s for very short periods. But more than less of my bills have had extra charges due to me talking for whatever number of hours I knew I did not use…

  4. Bitch and MoanComplain and complain. You had one that you loved and that actually worked, now tell them to get you one that does. Don’t let up until they do.

  5. cingular problemsI have essentially the same problems, but its my cingular service. i cant dial out much of the time. it just says retry failed. then when i get a voice mail it will beep like its fucking new years eve. but i cant call to GET the voicemail. I have to use a landline phone. im going down to cingular tomorrow to have words with them. i called their tech support line and we went around in circles about me needing my dads SSN# in order to help and how i only needed to know the status of the network and how the network had no problems, yet i was unable to dial out and nor were any of my friends or family.

  6. phoneSony Ericssons P800 is your friend! Take a look at it! If it would be able to cook and give morning blwjobs I would fuckin marry it!Cya

  7. Do ThisTMobile now has Data only plans. Cut the fucking phone off of that shit, and get a real phone. Verizon. And from what I heard, Verizon is the next in line of the big carriers to get Hiptop enabled. So you have your $30 a month data for you sidekick, and your $30 a month for your kick ass verizon celly. And then once Verizon gets it’s shit together, kick TMobile to the crub like the three dollar skank she is and bed down with Verizon. It’s what I’m doing currently. TMobile’s serive in my area (Central Jersey) sucks two unwiped assholes touching each other, wherein Verizon’s service is like a handjob from the hottest mute pornstar you ever met.

  8. Tech woes and other Crap….First: Throw the fucking thing out the car window at no less than 80 miles an hour, then stop by nearest Titty bar and down a few while watching some 56 year old female mud wrestler try her hand at pole-dancing. Remind yourself that shit comes in 3’s and prepare to vomit and or pass out from the bad beer…..Next:…..Make your way home and procede to tell your **Significant Other** your troubles and woes, she might have pity on you and possibly release you from washing her car….Remember: What did you do b4 they had these things?…..Thats right, you did NOTHING!!!!!

  9. Listen hereGet Cingular or Verizon, forget the rest. and no matter what phone/company u go with only get GSM if you stay anywhere near civilization. I have a Nokia 6800, live in Boston and have no problems. Believe me, i’ve worked for a Cingular dealer (read: i don’t make money from the actual company) so i know what im talking about. You probably just went with t-mobile because they’re credit whores

  10. POSThe problem with your phone stems from the fact that you had it replaced free of charge from T mobile. You see most companies that have a protection plan or whatever replace broken units with refurbished units. Phones are like virgin ‘tang once its lost it ain’t ever the same. Most refurbished phone don’t have half of the shelf life as new phones and suffer from mysterious problems. If you don’t want to lost T mobile demand that your phone be replaced with a new phone and not a refurbished one and try to link the bad charges to the fucked up phone. Keep on ’em and make it a point to say that you will be cancelling service since they are not holding up their end of the contract. This is key if you do cancel so you can get out of a cancellation fee.

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