Excerpts of O.J.’s “If I Did It” have been uncovered by Newsweek. And hey, the guy has some very informative educated guesses on how to murder two people and get away with it. Who would have known?
Simpson writes that his ex-wife came at him like a “banshee.” She loses her balance and falls hard, her head cracking against the ground. Goldman assumes a karate stance, further angering Simpson. He dares the younger man to fight. Then, in the book, Simpson pulls back. He writes, “Then something went horribly wrong, and I know what happened, but I can’t tell you exactly how.”
Simpson writes that when he regains control of himself, he realizes he is drenched in blood and holding a bloody knife. Both Nicole and Goldman are dead. Simpson heads back to the alley but before getting into the Bronco to flee, strips down to his socks. He rolls his bloody clothes and the knife into a small pile. (That’s an important detail. The police never recovered those clothes or the murder weapon, but they did find Simpson’s socks—with Nicole’s blood on them—at the foot of his bed at his Rockingham estate.)
Let me paraphrase a breakdown of his tips for scot-free killin’, just for the sake of time and interest:
- Kill whitey(s).
- Get nekkid’.
- Hide clothes and murder weapon.
- Have shitloads of money.
Hire Johnny Cochrane(you shit outta luck here, nigga… he dead.)- Get African-American community to forget your cheatin’, wife-beatin’, white-girl humpin’ ways and support your new church-goin’, repentant, chocolate-ass lovin’ lifestyle.
- Win trial, then flip-flop on new sorry-ass lifestyle. Satellite TV should be free!
For any of you African-American former pro athletes with a lot of money and a white woman to kill, please subscribe to our newsletter.
Fucking AwesomeKill Whitey!! HA! I love it…
Pure MagicThis is your \”David\” Sir. I mean the naked one not the gay one.
( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )( o Y o )( . )( . )