I guess we finally get to find out how many New Yorkers it takes to screw in a lightbulb.*
But seriously, news anchors alleviating fears of terrorism every time something abnormal happens is getting a little over the top. It’s honestly getting to the point I expect Rob Dibble to chime in on Baseball Tonight to assure everyone that Curt Schilling ‘adjusting himself’ was just a natural thing that every ballplayer, even Dibs himself, does and is not a result of an al-Qaeda plot to put itching powder in his jock.
I can just see it now, we invade the Dominican Republic for sabotaging our national pastime.
*note to Leno: if you steal that one you little fuck, I’ll cut your heart out with a dull, rusty spoon like a Puerto Rican whore. Why a spoon? Because it’s dull you twit, it’ll hurt more. And rusty so that if you truly are a heartless bastard, the tetanus will get you.