I’m Still 90 Percent Hate, 10 Percent Corn Syrup

I’ve had quite a few emails (and some comments) asking why I don’t just bother to shut down BAMF, as I’m obviously not funny anymore and I don’t seem to give a shit about the site in general. Before I hit the sack, I’d like to clear up a few of these misconceptions.

1. My main reason for not posting on this site is simple: I have always and will always want to maintain this as a site that I myself would want to enjoy. I have attempted, on numerous occasions, to pick up my writing duties exactly where I left off. Thus far, it hasn’t been possible, primarily because everything I have attempted to write over the last 8 months or so has come off sounding like the ramblings of a fucking crybaby, and I absolutely cannot abide whining. I wouldn’t subject myself to it, nor would I force these diatribes of daily bitchy bitching upon you. Everyone has their own shit, mine is just mildly painful and makes me feel like throwing up on occasion. Probably because of all the times I made fun of the handicapped, but I’m still not about to stop doing that.
2. I’m still funnier than you’ll ever be, with the exception of the moment your Dad forgot to pull out resulting in your mildly amusing existence.
3. The fact that everyone on Heroes seems to become more and more connected each and every episode is not awesome. It is the opposite of awesome. Did you all lose your Goddamned minds?
4. I still give a shit about this site. In fact, I check it every single day hoping that I’ll be able to write something that amuses myself again. But since I can’t, I spend a lot of my time trolling the rest of the internet and taking out my aggression on people in alternatively excellent ways. Perhaps once I feel like I’m back to normal, I’ll post some of these and we can all have a good laugh at what a little 9th grade girl I was for the duration of summer 2007. Hopefully this will happen before I resort to composing shitty poetry in a little notebook with hearts and cutouts from Teen Beat plastered all across the front.

In summation, I am still full of spite. I just can’t direct it as well lately. If you feel like picking up some of the slack around here, great. Send some shit to me. Otherwise, continue posting your comments. It really does make me feel better in comparison when I have to complain.