Some trader on the NYSE got fined 1000 clams for smuggling Gallagher onto the stock exchange floor, so that the *ahem* comedian could smash a coworker over the noggin with a watermelon. What a glorious sense of humor those bloodsucking bottom feeders have.
Arthur Gross smuggled on to the floor an oddball comedian who goes by the name of Gallagher. The comic then removed from his jacket a huge piece of watermelon and smashed it over the head of another trader, Peter Tuchman. Why? Ive got no idea, says my informant. There was no obvious symbolism, and nor did it have anything to do with Gallaghers act. But hiring a comedian to hit someone with a watermelon is contrary to NYSE regulations . . . which clearly cover a wide range of eventualities.
I guess he couldn’t manage to sneak in that hilarious gigantic couch from his act. I know funny kids, and take it from me, adults sardonically sitting on giant things is fucking side-splitting. Take porn starlets for example.
If our judicial system was just …Carrot top would have gotten the death sentence.
Starving?Gallager obviously isn’t too busy these days… what did this trader offer him, some duct tape to fix his card-board box?