So I guess it’s official, Martha Stewart is going to serve five months in prison for her part in the ImClone debacle. Now the question on everyone’s mind is whether or not she’ll parlay this into a book describing her experiences in the pokey, as well as a cell-decorating guide.
Martha Stewart was sentenced to five months in prison and fined $30,000 Friday for lying to investigators about her sale of ImClone Systems stock in late 2001.
Federal Judge Miriam Cedarbaum also ordered Stewart to five months of home confinement and two years of supervised probation after she is released. It was the minimum sentence the judge could impose under federal sentencing guidelines.
“I’ll be back,” Stewart declared.
She also appealed to people to subscribe to her magazine and buy her products.
While I empathize with the fact that she’s been made an example of, this is pretty much just a slap on the wrist. She was looking at 3 years, and got five months. The judge took it easy on her because of her public disgrace, and the damage that has been done to her business. But considering that this is Martha Stewart, I highly doubt that she’ll stay down for long. She’ll probably come out of her five months all ripped from pumping iron, and beat her competition with her fists of decadent fury.
Then comes her next book: Martha Stewart’s Home Confinement Living.
Ha.Martha Stewart ripped.
Ha.Martha Stewart ripped.
oh yesI hope those bull-dykes give her a good rogering.
oh yesI hope those bull-dykes give her a good rogering.
Fucking rich cuntIsn’t it great that because that cunt is rich she only gets 5 months? Also, she’ll get her very own trailer in prison, not thrown into a cell. If you have money and have to go to prison (and you’re willing to pay for it), you don’t have to stay in the general population. So she’s basically getting a 5 month forced vacation, followed by 5 months of staying at home taping new episodes of her show.
I’m in jail right nowI live in my own trailer and have access to this high end computer. I also have 2 female maids who serve me food on gold dishes.True story.
Uh…I guess it doesn’t matter to anyone here that she never committed the crime she was investigated for? She never committed insider trading and anyone with half a clue knew that. She tried to cover her butt and got caught doing so. Since when is it illegal to make it hard to keep the police from finding you guilty? Martha legally sold some stock to keep from losing a few ten thousand dollars. In return, the government investigated her for a crime she didn’t commit and destroyed several billion dollars of shareholder equity, hurting hundreds of thousands. That’s the real crime and no one in the media or government will ever own up to it.
wtgcongrats sharkey, your jokes have only been made 100 times apiece on jay leno.
Uhhh…Since this all began I’ve managed to retain the same attitude I started with regarding the entire situation: I didn’t give a fuck about Martha Stewart before, I don’t give a fuck about Martha Stewart now, and when it’s all over with, I still won’t give a fuck about Martha Stewart. I hope all of you can now join me and not care, because caring is a waste of precious time that would be better spent drinking, fucking, spiking babies, jacking off, setting animals on fire, or whatever you choose to do with your spare time.
HahaWho the fuck watches Jay Leno?
BookCan she make a book out of this? I know a few states have laws about not being able to profit from committing a crime. She went to jail because of the crime, therefore writing a book about her jailhouse experiences would be illegal also?
hmmmWow you cant make money off commiting a crime? Whatever state you are in must have a really small section for rap music in your local music store.
Paid For….She will OWN the place!!!
Errr…It’s not official, yet…
rap musicThey don’t rap *usually* about crimes they’ve been convicted of though, if I’m not mistaken, they usually rap about stuff the claim to have done.