Look. I don’t mind doing favors for some of my friends. I don’t mind doing favors for certain clients. And I don’t mind doing favors for hot women, but those are usually of a non-technical nature. But I fucking hate it when someone else’s client gets passed off onto me because that certain “someone else” has moved off the face of the planet, and I’m stuck cleaning up their idiotic messes.
Take today, for example, when I got called at lunch because one of these clients was having a shit fit. Now, the guys around here usually don’t know what’s my fault, and what isn’t. They just know that if it involves the words “programming” or “database”, it probably gets forwarded to me. Now this particular client was having what seemed like a very simple mySql problem. My first instinct was that either the database was down, or someone had fucked with the root password. I ask the head genius over there if he’s touched anything, and I mean anything in the last few days. He says no, so I spend about ten minutes bartering for access to the server, going in and resetting the root password. This solves the problem instantly. So I ask the guy “Hey, who reset the root password for mySql?” and he just stammers for a minute, and blames it on the bitch that sits next to him. Mind you, this is a woman so dumb that inbred dogs look down on her, so I know he’s lying to me. I instruct him on the finer points of password changing, and that the next time he wastes my time I’ll be sending a fucking bill.
Now I’m dealing with some shitkicker high school, that doesn’t want to allow me FTP access to their server, but they desperately need an information request form programmed in ASP. Unfortunately the IT guy is a complete idiot, and can’t tell me any specific server settings, can’t give me access to the server, and needs me to fucking EMAIL him the updated files to test on the server. Unfortunately, with ASP and no FTP access, it’s kind of like operating on someone’s liver while blindfolded. There’s a million fucking things that could go wrong, and it takes a half hour before anything fucking happens. Needless to say, after trying mail scripts that are hand tailored to Win NT 4, Windows 2K, and Windows 2003, I am telling this fucker that I’m charging him $150 per email until this thing is finished. So its either a hefty bill, or he gives me access to his precious, precious server.
God dammit, I’m a cranky son of a bitch today.
WTFYou need to get away, i suggest VEGAS!…..You also need some PUSSY Stat!!!!!…..Or your hand will suffice for the time being.
come to vegas…Sharkey:You grumpy bastard. Get your ass over here and I’ll get some titties in your face and a soft ass to bounch on your crotch. If you’re lucky, the chick won’t have a dick, either!Drop me a note, bitch.
oh man…I totally associate. My particular ASP horror story is working on legacy code programmed by copy+paste. We’re talking 1MB+ long ASP pages, no subs, no loops, straight up copy and paste as many times as it needed to be done. And then, they tell me, we can’t afford to pay you to un-fuck our code. It was a good day. I left them some nice bugs, and their security holes remained intact since I wasn’t paid to fix them. Anyone want into a credit union website?
bahClients suck ass.Nice on the billing scheme – that’s fucking sweet. I’m in a small town with a collection of fucktards for IT people – so I usually end up cleaning up someone else’s mess too. And they usually fuck it up really really good.\”I need access to your server.\”\”Sorry, that access is restricted.\”\”A mechanic cannot fix your car if you lock it up, don’t hand him the keys and lock the hood. Either I get access, or we work until the wee hours, and you get one helluva bill. Pick one.\”\”Uh…. the password is ….\”Too bad they’re the income source. Fucking economy has us by the balls.
Dibbs!!I will take that access! My CU decided since I had only $50 in my savings for 4 months that I really didnt need the account. Of course they refunded my money minus the $18.50 in fees for closing an account too early and check processing! Revenge!
bah.Apparently one of my ex-co-flunkies got around to rewriting their site (translation: deleting it all, and then going from scratch) so the hard-coded admin password (I shit you not) in plain text, _viewable in the HTML comments!_ is gone.