Hey! Lets talk about the piece of human garbage that gave birth on a Boston train.

Here is the link to the Boston Globe Article

In case you don’t want to read the whole article, I’ll clip the parts that win at “teH funneY”

About 90 seconds later, Chin said, “I saw a head, then full baby fall out from her skirt, hit the floor sideways and slide the length of the doorway, stopping when he bumped up against the next row of seats. Still she stared out the window. Either she didn’t know it happened or didn’t want to acknowledge it.”

I’m glad that the eyewitness specifies that he saw “a full baby” because it somehow would have been less shocking if she gave birth to just a leg or something.

After leaving the train and heading for the stairs up to the station’s main lobby, witnesses said, the placenta fell to the platform. Judge turned around, grabbed the afterbirth, put it in her shoulder bag, and headed upstairs.

If I were her, I would have taken advantage of this unique turn of events to give the afterbirth to a homeless man and say “here man, go have yourself a good meal. You might want to rinse it off though because it fell on the ground. Sorry bout that.

MBTA police intercepted her and took the baby boy, who was breathing and kicking but not crying. As two officers examined the baby in the front seat of a police SUV

The kid was not crying? Horace Q. Christ, this kid is going to be a tough motherfucker someday. After a short fall out of his mother’s “human garbage chute” this kid rolled around on a noisy, dirty train before being scooped up, carried away, and subsequently seized by police. I mean shit, sometimes just smelling the inside of one of those public trains makes me want to cry. I wash my hands when I get home after riding the train. This kid rolled around in a puddle of afterbirth mixed with floor dirt. Yep, this kid is a tough little mofo. Someday I’ll bet he’s the one who gets all his friends to switch to needle drugs.

The kid was born on the Red line train so I think it’s reasonable to name it “Red” or perhaps “Bubba” because it sounds alot like the sound he made when he hit the floor.
The woman works for the Boston Public school cafeteria system so one might assume that…well uhhhh maybe I shouldn’t analyze that angle. After all, its almost lunchtime.