I finally picked up a used copy of Episode II on DVD last week. I refused to pay more than 10 bucks for a somewhat-ass-flavored movie, so I had to wait until I stumbled across one for $9.99 after shipping. Watching the flick again sparked a discussion regarding our preconceived notions about how shitty Episode III will be. For some reason, I like to cling to every last shred of hope that someone is out there, trying to rescue the original George Lucas from the clutches of the evil shape shifting aliens (oh, bitter irony!) that kidnapped him all those years ago, or as I like to call it, the “Pre-Guido-Shoots-First-Era.” But unfortunately, I’m going to have to choke on some serious reality. We discussed all of the really cool ideas about surprise endings that I’ve heard about over the last two years, but when you boil it down to the essence, it’ll be another Lucas-shows-off-cgi-and-jerks-himself-off-with-unneccessary-coninuity-cameos. And I’d just like to thank Lucas personally for squashing my hopes now, before I let them drag on for a couple of years. Prepare yourself.
Reprising their classic roles from the original trilogy are actors Peter Mayhew, Anthony Daniels and Kenny Baker. They return to Star Wars as Chewbacca the Wookiee, C-3PO and R2-D2.
“I’m delighted to return as Chewbacca,” says Mayhew. “I think his re-appearance in this film is a fitting way to tie the whole saga together, especially for Wookiee fans.” Given that Chewbacca is a sprightly 200 years old in Episode IV, he is more than old enough to fit into the prequel timeline.
Oy. What a snap back to reality. He might as well have ended the film with a young boy picking a fight with lil’ Boba Fett over who gets to hold baby Leia, before his Mom says “Han, you get back here right now or I’ll take away your bike young man!” to which the boy will respond “Over my dead body.” Then a couple of Ewoks can inexplicably go running by, chased by a young black child who keeps yelling something about how they truly belong with him in the clouds. God, Lucas should hire me to think up his masturbatory self-references. I’m far more efficient. Maybe lil’ Han should call his Mom “Your Worhsipfullness.” Then it’ll be like the entire reason I loved the original trilogy will be sufficiently shat upon, and we can all go home.
Hopes utterly smashed, childhood dreams crushed to dustI concur. All I need is the final proof put in front of my eyes on the screen, his failure will be complete, and my inner child can hang himself with his own underwear.
Episode two alternatives?I still think that Padme should have humiliated Anakin throughout episode two, eventually causing him to snap, abuse the force, and rape her. Thus bringing about the emergence of Vader and cleaning explaining Luke and Leia’s fatherless (legitimate) upbringing…at least i would have laughed..
Thank God….Thank God for the Matrix…..and for you Sharkey, damn man…i mean Lucas probably just ran out of good drugs to fuel his imagination and now spends his time tring to reignite a failing …i don’t know what.On another note if you into killer story lines and even better plot twists check out the Legacy Of Kain series…and more importantly Soul Reaver 1 & 2BADFUCKINASS
BadabingI thought you were talking about the Godfather trilogy for a second, then I realized you meant Greedo.Bah no one’s reading week-old comments anyways.