The weight issue “comes up a couple of times each year,” said Steve Noland, Life Flight’s program director. “It’s not just the weight, but also the physical size of patients.”
No shit? I’m sure there’s some algebraic equation for that. Too bad I suck at math.
Now, I’m not some fatty hater, like most of you would like to believe. To tell you the truth, I love fat people. Hell, if it’s fat, I like it. I’m sure most of you would like to sit back and imagine me in Papa Lovetti’s standing at the lasagna buffet counter with a crossing gaurd sign that says “stop” on both sides. I bet you even fantasize about me going to the mall and walking around the food court pointing at those people who have a very distinct and un-mistakable weight problem who are shoveling food down thier gullets faster than a cheesecake eating whale and then getting right up in their faces and yelling “YOU FAT FUCKER. JUST WHAT IN FUCK’S SAKE DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING!! YOU’RE DONE!!! YOU WERE DONE YESTERDAY!! TAKE A DAMN CHOW VACATION YOU FAT FUCKING SON OF FATTY FUCK!!”
Well, I might do some of that. It has nothing to do with their obvious weight problem.
I’m just mad about losing my job. Really. Hold me.