Happy Fucking New Year

I hope you had a pleasant stay in the wonderful year of the two thousand and two. Because next year is just going to be more of the same, with the same people ruining our lives. Not that I’m bitter about John Ashcroft tracking me down and branding my ass with a UPC code, just in case I might decide to maybe someday imply with a knowing wink to a co-worker of mine that, yes, his mother probably smells funny.

But enough of that. We’ve got so much to look forward to! I just can’t wait until I get laid off. Then that will free up plenty of time for me to join the Army, since I know without a doubt that business will be booming.

At least I had three good CD’s that came out this year to listen to (Trail of Dead, QOTSA, Sleater-Kinney). Too bad the RIAA will erase my hard drive because they have it on good authority that I might have probably kinda downloaded them off, what’s that thing called? Napster? No, out of business; the RIAA already erased their hard drives. Luckily, with Total Information Awareness, they’ll be able to check my credit card account and see that yes, I did buy those CD’s. Then they can just throw me in jail for something else I did. I’m sure that I already got a red flag on my dossier from not being married, yet ordering a economy sized box of condoms. It says “sexual deviant” right under “doesn’t pay his parking tickets.”

Remember kids, even you can be a cynic. It’s not even hard anymore.

9 comments

  1. The Beastwhile articles that sit there and complain about people are damn funny, if you actualy take the time to read the words of the person talkin shit about everyone you’ll notice that they are full of shit also, and contain many of the qualities they belitteling other people for. (in response to the Beast)

  2. So very true EvanBut I took it as that being the point of the post, to not only point out those things but to actually use some of them in describing it. Or maybe I am just an over analytical bastard… the world may never know.

  3. more randomnessfuck this sux, im at work @ 3:50 in the morning, and i have to take a fat shit. fuckit, laidy’s restroom, here i come!

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