GTA: Green Acres

Holy shit, remember what I said about the possibility of the new GTA being too ladened with new shit? Make that a double.

· The crop dusterSince San Andreas is so large, planes play a much larger role in the game – once you tire of travelling between cities by road, flying becomes the preferable and much speedier option. There’s a whole range of new airborne vehicles for CJ to fly, including a new dodo and a crop duster biplane (in which you can do barrel rolls, hammerheads and loops).

· Working bulldozerThe dozer has massive amounts of torque to drive it forward and can plough through almost anything. The plough itself can be raised up and down (with the right analogue stick) to flip cars, terrorise pedestrians and cause general chaos and destruction.

· Alternative weapons in San AndreasWhile we’re promised a new range of handheld weapons in San Andreas, perhaps of more use is the fact that you’ll now be able to lock on to opponents while wielding a weapon, enabling players to circle enemies. You can also block by hitting Square while each weapons features a variety of different attacks.

In addition to all of that, you’ve got the new Desert Eagle (which apparently CJ needs to learn how to hold effectively), the ability to put out fires with a fire extinguisher, shovels, 18-wheelers, moon phases and a host of other new bullshit. That’s shaping up to be one of the most complex games ever fucking made, and it’s coming out in just over a month. What sucks is that they’ve built it up so much and thrown so much extra shit into the mix, that if they fuck it up, it’ll be a royal fuck up. True, they’ll still sell a few million copies of it, but who knows how much people would trust them after screwing up such a simple no-brainer sequel.

I sincerely hope that these guys pull it off, because topping GTA: VC would make for one of the greatest games of all time. As long as the eating/exercising system doesn’t get in the way, and I can still take the brass knuckles to a virtual hooker, they’ll do so.