God Is Apparently Tired Of The French

…as are we all.

Lots of people aren’t able to cope with France’s *heatwave*. Scroll down to the 3rd last paragraph to find out it’s 98 degrees.

https://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=514&e=2&u=/ap/20030814/ap_on_re_eu/france_heat_wave_6

It gets hotter than 98F in the bay area on a regular basis..

At first I pondered if they were discussing Celcius temperatures. Delicious thoughts of a few million French fries baking in 200 degree weather made me giggle with schoolgirlish glee, but of course, that was short lived. No no, my friends, the Frenchies are dropping off like flies because of a measly 98 degrees fahrenheit. Turn the fucking A/C in the car on in California and it’s refreshing to get 98 degrees fahrenheit. And the humidity over there isn’t so bad right now, so what the fuck is with all the waterworks? Obviously the French are made of a far lesser material than everyone else. I wish I’d known that while I was over there, I would’ve grabbed a heat lamp and a mister and taken over the country.

By the way, the mortality issues of this story are a lot funnier if you replace “dying of heat exhaustion” with “surrendering to the Sun”.

Published
Categorized as News

By Sharkey

I run bamf.

41 comments

  1. It would seem so…Actually, I covered the French Fry joke, therefore posting about it in sardonic fashion was unneccessary, especially 10 goddamn times.

  2. You’ve gotta be some kind of special type of idiot……to post the same thing ten fucking times. Way to go, genius.

  3. 3000 that won’t be missedhttp://start.earthlink.net/newsarticle?cat=7&aid=D7SU05QG1_story3,000 died? Jesus christ. I live in Yuma, Arizona, middle of the forgotten desert. 2 years ago we had a temp reach 122*F w/54% humidity.The french disgust me, bastards should burn.J (Trapped Soul)

  4. ACI think that Sharkey, in his own charmingly retarded, bumblefuck fashion, stumbled upon the explanation as to why the French are having a bad time of things: air conditioning. In France, temperatures are not normally so high and so the people have not adapted to high temperatures. Air conditioning is not nearly as common there as it is here, and so when the temperature does spike, there is little means of respite.So when are you going to stop with this jingoist bullshit, Sharkey?

  5. God and His PenchantsThree thousand died? Does that sound at all familiar? (Hint: 9/11) Sounds like a little divine retribution from a diety with a sick sense of humor.Maybe God really does bless America, and now the French know that.

  6. mwahahaThis is God’s way of punishing the French for being such wusses and also for not backing the US in Iraq…and other random bull shit..

  7. IgnoranceThere is no God. This is America’s more ignorant citizen’s way of lashing back at France for not hopping on the War Wagon. More french died in OUR revolutionary war than americans did. We have been great allies since before we were a country. Fuck all you idiots, I’m moving to Canada.

  8. Ignorance?Yeah, and apparently we now know the reason more of them died: because they couldn’t take the heat.And you’d better not pull a Streisand on us, making promises like that.

  9. the TRUE ReasonWhat you guys forget is that the French don’t shower very often, or wear deoderant…. so it was more likely the smell created by the heat that killed them off…. kinda like the smell from shanstafari’s post, sweaty, shitty and generally unclean.

  10. U.S. dumbass ignorantThat only confirm that all US citizens are a bunch of ignorant retard!!! Most of u are fukin retard trap in their little world of american dream! U all suck! U even dont know ur own history and what is happening in ur fukin country!So when posting a comment try to be a little more inform before saying useless shit like that! U will all go down! i hope theres some more bomb that gonna shut ur fukin mouth and show u a little respect! So read a little farther then the ffront page of ur shitty newzpaper! be inform or stfu! bunch of ignorant retard! Common saddam and ussama make those retard realise that there not the center of the world!!yes thats it! when u dont know what the fuck ur talking about u better stfu!By the way ! americans should all die! in a bacteriologic war!! that would be a fukin good thing for the rest of the world! we would get rid of their little egocentric ignorant selfish and big head mother fucker!have a good day!best regard! u retards!

  11. HahahaHahahahahah\”all US citizens are a bunch of ignorant retard!!!\”\”Most of u are fukin retard trap in their little world of american dream!\” And we’re the retarted ones…. okWhy is it so hard to actually type the words \”You\”, and \”You’re\” so that \”ur\” mesage would be at least close to readable. Instead I lost a few IQ points just like Limey… But in my case it was from reading that moron’s message.

  12. Hum.Well, i just managed to read through both sides of some BULLSHIT. That was fun.Ugh.Europeans generally don’t even have the A/C in their cars hooked up — to save gas you unhook the belt from the compressor, generally. Imagine not having ANY A/C in your house, OR in your car. Now imagine you have been living under 75f for your entire life.It’s not easy to deal with, and most people from colder climates have no idea how to deal with heat exhaustion (drinking assloads of water, etc.).Generally i find everything on the site amusing, but this struck entirely too close to the ‘ignorant idiot’ categorization.France is not the only country wondering what the fuck is wrong with our stupid fuck of a president. Half the country is, and 3/4ths of the world is. Fucking cowboy.

  13. JesusSome people just can’t take a joke these days. And I like that about them. Keep posting you twits, you just wind up looking all the more foolish to me.

  14. liberal bastardsFuck the French if they can’t handle a few extra degrees. Its typical of them to keel over and drop out when the situation gets a little hot (world war 2, iraq, bathing…) its rediculous. Oh, and if they are to stupid to figure out that they need to drink water, then good riddance if they die. Honestly, do we really need them in the gene pool? Darwin would say no, and so do I.

  15. Jokes And SuchSee that post above this one? See it? Good, okay, now read it. Have you read it? Good. Are you sure you get it? Alright. Now lighten the fuck up you shitwits. I WAS JUST JOKING.P.S. Headless must also mean brainless.

  16. dumb dumb dumband whats people dont think about is taht most of people who dies are pld people with heart and other disease. but u retard dont know that or are too stupid to think about that. and thats true that a/c is not a common thing in europe.and dont spit on people (french who saves ur sorry ass from the british invasion) ur too young or dumb to know that!

  17. sharkeysharkey u suck and fuck up on this one!but this subject didi get u a lot of reactions and that izzzzzzzzz good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!keep up the good and bad work!

  18. fukerremember september 11 u should! anyway dont expect in the future some compation from the rest of the world. u deserved it!cuz ur war morons!war is not good!! but getting some petrol is!peace all!a little white bird!

  19. I heart Sharkey…in that “share a beer” sorta way.heh. Blame the entire population of a country for a few assholes beliefs and/or their leaders decisions:Reeks of Naziism. God forbid had we let Hitler win… or you would be with den Tuefel right now.Wishing Osama (uusama?) would kill us all:He would kill you all too. He hates Western Civilization, not just America. When the Al Quaeda attacks you again, America will be there to save your asses again, naturally.Calling us Lazy and uncompassionate:Whenever another country has a natural disaster, America sends plenty of help.But when a tornado rips across our midwest, or we have a power outage on the entire East Coast, all you do is scoff, and probably laugh.Ostracizing and berating us on behalf of a running joke?You Frienchies have been slamming us in almost every form of your media since we gained independence, despite saving your asses multiple times.We’ve been curteous to your people when you visit, and we’ve been tolerant of you whenever we go to see the Eiffel tower. I can’t name how many times I heard French people badmouthing American citizens that were just walking around in the streets of Paris.I don’t necessarily agree with my President’s decisions, but let’s face it – a lot of French people are rude, stinky bastards, and you can’t take a joke.But I guess you could be right. If I shove my head that far up my ass, and eat enough cheese, I can see how I deserve to die.I’m such a bastard. Let me go smoke my little filtered cigarette, put on a beret, and drink some wine before I blow my brains out for being an American Asshole.-all of that was a joke too. I love you guys, but you need some deodorant.

  20. HmmmJeez, some retard comments by both sides here. Im thinking that the original post might just have been… uhh… not quite serious. Yknow. It being a humorous site and all.The random French bashing exhibited by a large number of Americans, I can live with, especially since I do it all the time. Smelly Frogs*. However, actually meaning retard things like ‘Ha, God is showing them the error of their nasty French ways, bwhahah’ is tard-city. Of course, sarcasm doesnt come across the Interweb well, so I dont actually know which of you are tards. And then there was the amusing post attacking the US and making accusations of ignorance. Which was funny.Weve just finished our heatwave- it went above 100F for the first time ever here. Remember that very few cars have aircon, and almost no houses do. No ceiling fans either. Then remember that for 95% of the year, 65 is a decent temperature. I can appreciate the problems that such high temperatures can cause for a populace not used to them. I mean- if it was 100F in Alaska, they would probably be dropping like flies. Also consider the fact that as you get older, homeostasis starts winding down a touch, and that most of the deaths have been oldies. Also remember that for the sake of some random French bashing, you are actually ripping it out of 300 dead people, who cant argue back. Heh. Actually, I like that.*Who sell cheap booze.

  21. ughbadassmofo.com:MONKEYS HAHAHAHAHAHAHTHE FRENCH HAHAHAHAHHAHAwith repeated posting about how \”hot\” your girlfriend is to overcompensate for your low self esteem, and to prove that you’re not \”gay\”.repeat indefintely.

  22. Bacteriological war!BACTERIOLOGICAL WAR – cleaning a french man’s bathroom.HAHA. I kill me, and I slay you.I want some mustard.

  23. *sigh*This is a tad off of subject from the origional post, but I got about halfway through the poasts and read something from some frenchman about them backing us in the revolutionary war. I just want to point some things out to the french that like to throw that in our face. Fist off, the ONLY reason that you ever backed us in the revolutionary war was because you dispised the british. You would have fought a war with them one way or the other, you just used us as an excuse to have that war. Ok, so one way or the other, we owed you one…..WWI, we saved your asses, if not for us you would be speaking German. WWII again we saved your asses. Now you owe us one. How do you repay us for that? Well for starters, you don’t let us fly over your country with our military jets. September 11th happens and you don’t help us out at all with that one, instead you destroy the graves of some of our soldiers who died at normandy trying to get your country back for you. Yes I do realize that that was an act of just a few. The point that I’m trying to make is that the french are very good at remembering what they have done for you, and very good at forgetting what you have done for them.

  24. shanstafariOh, one more thing. shanstafari, as far as you saying \”There is no God\”, all I have to say to that is, you BETTER be right. See, I believe in God, if I die and I’m wrong I will never know I am wrong, if you die and there is a God though, you are fucked in the worst kind of way.

  25. harI’m chuckling a bit myself. They’ve lost 3,000 people who don’t have the sense to stay hydrated and in the shade, perhaps get a fan if they can.Damn, seriously, what the hell is up with those numbers anyway? Oklahoma has suffered 120 degrees, and we only lose a few old people, most of them too senile to remember water = important.

  26. Europeans are fucking ******sYes, Europeans are fucking ******s. I know since I iz one, yet not. Fuck all my homies and all other lame ass bitches dropping off like weak a-week-left-to-live seniors. Every goddamn person is complaining about the heat but me. I’m enjoying every second of it, wishing it could be like this all year. Well, only way to get that is to move some place below the fucking northpole, preferably California. SoCal HERE I FUCKIN’ CUM!

  27. UmYeah, I think it’s funnier than Shit, but you gotta remember – the French drink nothing but wine, and the water in Europe will kill you faster than heatstroke.

  28. WowI think the first french guy (who posted under different names but is still pointed out by his God awful English) was a wee bit offended by the French joke. I hope to see more of his retarded ramblings because I and I’m sure Sharkey, thinks it’s hillarious at how pissed off the dumbshit is.

  29. …..Alright, in response to the whole \”Europeans don’t have air conditioning/are used to 74 degree weather\” comment.I live in Western Washington State. In the dead of summer, we’re lucky to get mid 70’s. None of us have air conditioning, as it infamously rains 3/4ths of the year.This summer, we had temperatures breaking 100 degrees. For over a week. NOT A SINGLE FUCKING PERSON DIED. I live on the top floor of an asbestos insulated apartment, and I have no air conditioning. I sweat a little bit, said \”fuck it’s hot\” a few times, and that was that.The fact of the matter is, the French government is doing an awful job of taking care of its people. End of story.

  30. 98 Degrees.Body temperature. Just be in underwear and do nothing all day and you’re fucking good to go. It’s not fucking rocket science.

  31. C’mon, there’s a reasonI moved to Switzerland (ya know, the little patch of land to the right of france, a little bit like an attached kidney…Well, we have the same thing going here as in France. Temperatures are near 100 degrees Farenheit and we’re just cooking. Given that you pay for electricity here through the nose, there isn’t any A/C, so you spend the whole night like a schmuck sweating like a pig and you’re not even doing anything (if said perspiration was due to doing the horizontal tango, it’d be something…).So, no wonder people are dropping like flies. I went back to Boston for a contract for six weeks and the place I stayed, I could put the temperature down to 50 Celsius if I wanted (and I did, that’s the best temperature to sleep)Same thing in winter. I’m used at laughing at temperatures of 15 Farenheit. Here, because the heating in the winter is as miserable as the cooling in the summer, I’m freezing my buns off (but on the other hand, I got some serious reasons for doing the horizontal tango then… many times… a night).So, while I’d like to ridicule one nation, let’s not forget the other nations surrounding France, they just don’t understand how a house should be cooled or heated… Dumbasses.

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