If there’s one things BAMF is known for, it’s monkeys and French-bashing. Well, it’s time for all of that to change. …waitaminute, did I say change? I meant endure, like Rocky in a French boxing ring. Ha! Endurance is king!
Anyway, let’s move on to the monkeys first, as they bring us joy through the smiting of our enemies and the biting of the stupid. I received a link from NC, who posed the question “What did she do to cross you?” The answer is, nothing. As in, nothing you need to worry your pretty little head about… uh… dude.
A woman died after the motorcycle she was on hit a monkey, which dashed across the road, at the Km19 of Jalan Lipis-Lubuk Kulit, near Lipis, on Monday.
Nahina, who suffered severe head and shoulder injuries, was rushed to Lipis Hospital but she died at 7.05pm.
Supt Baharuddin said Tazul Aidi suffered only light injuries. However, the monkey died on the spot.
Fucking japanese intern monkeys, always with the kamikaze shit. Bite, scratch, and get the Hell out of there you little bastard, no need to play the hero when things go a little awry.
Secondly, the French are sick and tired (thanks Scott) of the numerous jokes and the general mockery that we Americans make of them, especially after their attempts to lead the anti-war resistance. The article is filled to the brim with examples of America’s “anti-frog” slander. Dig:
“I think it’s stupidity, all these words,” said Claude DeBardin, president of the French-American Friendship Foundation, echoing other French expatriates. “Of course it is inconvenient to hear these criticisms. I think, I hope, it will all soon go away.”
That’s unlikely, at least at the United Nations. France has a Security Council veto and claims some of the UN’s best-seasoned diplomats, but it takes a beating at the water coolers. “What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their arms up?” asked a United Nations guard, a New Yorker who lives in the Bronx. “The army.”
U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell has dismissed a Franco-German proposal to bolster the UN weapons-inspection process as akin to having “Inspector Clouseaus running all over Iraq,” a reference to the bumbling detective in the Pink Panther movies.
You know, I’m afraid I have to agree with the Frenchies on this one. I’ve seen their beautiful country firsthand, and enjoyed their culture, which has given me insight into this situation. Perhaps we’ve been too hard on them. So I would like to share with you an actual conversation that transpired between myself, and a noble French gentleman during my stay there last summer:
Sharkey: “You know Francois, there is a lot of anti-French sentiment amongst my countrymen.
Francois: “Oui, zees ees unfortunately zee truth.”
Sharkey: “We have unfairly labeled you as cowards, snobs, and other terrible prejudices. And today, as an American, I must take a stand. The mockery must end here, mon frere. So to you and all of your wonderful people I must offer a fond “Ich entschuldige mich.”
Francois: “I appreciate your sentiment my American friend, but I am afraid zat I cannot understand you.”
Sharkey: “Oh, I’m sorry. It’s German for “I apologize.”
Francois: “But mon ami, I do not speak zee German.”
Sharkey: “Yeah, I know. We’re why. In fact, I’ve got my Grandfather’s phone number if you’d like to call him up and thank him… HEY! WHERE ARE YOU GOING! Fucking rude bastards.”
And after I so graciously commented that Paris didn’t smell nearly as armpit-like as I would’ve expected. Still, he didn’t put up a fight or even raise his voice to object. No surprise there, eh?
Thank who?Of course, the French are still pissed that you haven’t thanked them for your Independence. Remember that big war where the French saved your ass from the British?
…Move along folks, nothin to see here.
uhh…DuhDamn…this site went from ranting about cool shit to whining about the French…..if you’re going to pick on a shitty ethnicity pick on the frickin Mexicans……they come here cost me money, fuck like rabbits fallow all the stupidest parts of thier cathloic religon (like they love to say \”no birth control, but we’ll hump like mad out of wedlock\”) Not to mention they decend from and bunch of inbred canabalistic fucks that mixed with the lowest sections of old Spain…..the army.to me the French suck….but the Mexicans are just fucked, but who knows maybe if there is a huge foot war( a war fought with soldiers now W.M.D) we’ll win……if we can get them to stop fuckin each other for 5 minutes.peace
MessicansIf you want me ranting about the Mexicans, just say so. Matter of fact, I think I’ve done my fair share, especially when it relates to the drive-thru window (NO JUEVOS????) And I wasn’t whining about the French, I was picking on them for whining in the first place. Crybabies.
ok but stillMexicans still suck balls
Viva El Mexico!I’m all for making fun of the mexicans. They dont have any real say in what goes on in the world, and really cant do anything (else) to us. Maybe we should make fun of them for awhile. What do you get when you cross a mexican with an octopuss? I dont know, but it can sure pick lettuce.
riiiight…say what you want about the mexicans hsing, but the fact of the matter is that they were in this part of the world first u ignorant fuck. They have bigger dicks than you (which is prolly y you’re all pissed at ’em in the first place. bout the only thing i agree with you is the religion bit, ‘cept i apply it to all religions. But the mexicans are from mexico, not spain (again, ignorand fuck) you know it’s funny, you type like a bitter white guy, yet your name has a refreshing ***** sound about it. on that note, i think we should start makin fun of the chinese. what do you do if your chinese washing machine isn’t working? beat the bitch and take away her rice.
Tisk tiskYour attacking the size of his johnson? What does that have to do with anything. I’ll disrespect the mexicans all I want. And as a Native American (people who suffered more than anyone) I was here before they ever started jumping over fences to take a piece of the land that was taken from my people. Do I preach about that now? No, I only mentioned it because you decided to get all high and mighty. And how could you attack his grammer and sentence structure? You dont even know how to use capital letters. If you like mexico and all of its mexicans so much, then why dont you go live there? I’ll stay in my country, you go back to yours. Where’s the safest place to hide your money from a mexican? Under his work boots. Lazy bastards.
BlahCan’t we all get along and make fun of Australians!
sharkey’s grandfatherFrancois: \”But mon ami, I do not speak zee German.\”Sharkey: \”Yeah, I know. We’re why. In fact, I’ve got my Grandfather’s phone number if you’d like to call him up and thank him… HEY! WHERE ARE YOU GOING! Fucking rude bastards.\”So your grandfather was a member of the Russian army and a veteran of Stalingrad? Impressive!
Monkey Urban Pacification… http://www.consumptionjunction.com/feat/cc/detail.asp?ID=17148&type=1&page=1
Proliferation of spics.Why were there only 2000 Mexicans at the alamo? They only had two trucks.Why don’t mexicans grill out? Because the beans fall right through the grill.The French have Surrendered.