Jim's Top 7 Reasons Why Capt. Kirk kicks Picard's Ass
I'll refrain from commenting on how they're both pussies and on how bad ST is in the first place and let Jim speak. --Sharkey

7. No one can writhe in pain like Kirk.

    Especially when I kick his balding ass. --Sharkey

6.  No other human has akward dialogue pauses down like William Shatner.

5. Kirk can talk any computer to death.

4. Whether he's playing evil Capt. Kirk or a woman in Kirk's body, no one overacts like William Shatner.

3. Kirk does hand to hand combat with flying kicks, double fist punches, and the occasional karate chop.

    Let him try that shit now, fat bald bastard. --Sharkey

2. Kirk makes out with way more hot alien chicks.

1. Kirk has a better toupe`.