I hate going up to L.A. for any business related ventures. It’s never fun, never interesting, and always an excruciating drive. And today, I had to make the magical journey to East L.A., which is twice as bad. To get there you have to go through Downey, which has always kind of rubbed me the wrong way. I dunno, there’s something disturbing to me about a town who’s monicker would have been a fitting nickname for Corky from Life Goes On.
So on the return trip, I had just entered the fast lane on the 5 freeway when traffic predictably got bad. When I slowed down to match everyone’s 10mph pace, I noticed a red blur in my rear view mirror heading unsettlingly quickly towards me. I knew he was going to hit me, even when he slammed on his brakes. The bump seemed pretty fucking hard, especially since I could feel it in my neck (never a good sign), although when we got out to inspect the damage, we found that there was none. Not on either car. But since I’m not one to take chances (especially if my neck doesn’t get any better) I asked this little Asian fellow who so disturbed my day for his insurance information. This is the reply I received over the roar of traffic:
“No. No English.”
Great. So now I’m blocking fucking traffic with a guy who can’t comprehend the word “insurance”. So he heads back into his car, and returns with a cell phone, which he promptly hands to me. I get in my car so that I can hear, and the Asian girl on the other line fumbles her way through telling me that her friend speaks no English, so I should tell her whatever I want to say to him. I ask her for his insurance information, and hand the phone back to him. Just then, two highway patrolmen pull up and tell us that we’re going to need to move to the shoulder if there’s no damage. And right as the cop is talking to me, the Asian fellow gets off the phone, reaches into his pocket, and tries to fucking bribe me. With a hundred dollar bill, no less. I quickly shoo him away, and make hand signs to indicate that we need to move quickly.
After that bribing incident, the cop decided to stick around to see if anything else of interest might happen, thus screwing my chances of getting the hundred bucks. But the Asian guy was very reluctant to give me his information. He called another friend of his to explain to me that his insurance information was at home. I settled on his drivers license, license plate, VIN number, cell phone number, and anything else I could get my hands on. If I wind up with whiplash, I’m certainly not going to be paying for it with his paltry C-note.
So that was my day so far. Think Larry H. Parker will fight for me? (Does anyone outside of California get that one?)
gooksHow they fuck does someone get their license when they can’t even fucking speak english
another lang?what about engrish?
wthhttp://www.engrish.comhow about a preview sharkey?
God I hate LAWhat a shithole of a city.
Larry H. Parker\”Larry H. Parker one me 3 million dollars\” if I’m not mistaken. 😛
UhmI don’t think he \”one\” you anything…
*leans in* You know the story!It’s 2.1 million. And man, he’s enjoyin’ it.
Larry H. Parker won me 2.1 million dollarsGod, fuckin people here cant drive. Went through the same thing last night at the 5/91 interchange. Wasnt hurt, smashed bumper, guy spoke only spanish. Booyahed him with my broken spanish, In the end, I got 500 bucks out of him for not callin the CHP, he was so very illegal immigrantish… 40 bucks for a new bumper, 50 bucks for new mounts. But fuckin a tho. These people are in america, speak fucking english. We go to theyre country, we dont get catered to our language needs.
small noteI highlighted and went to \”Larry H. Parker\” on google (good Opera good). I saw the \”fight for you\”.org or something domain AND the legal tip of the day is:\”If you are in an accident, any delay in getting medical treatment will hurt your case.\”^^Note to Sharky^^
noNo, we don’t get it. Sorry.
uh…. officer….hey, if he didn’t have proof of insurance, the cop should have beat him down…you can’t legally drive without proof of insurance…
aaaaaahhhsorry abou tthe accident man, but a reference to goldfinger? i hear ya man, great album, mable describes every girl i have ever known. anyway god luck man.
Legal Matters….I think your fucked, but i figure you allready know that cause you have that 6th sense that tells you this is a **Cluster Fuck** anyway ya look at it…..You should have taken the C Note…
Just got home from LA.Werd.The Asian drivers in LA are crazy.
i can relatei hate the city of los angeles, ca. it’s a shithole. i’ve lived in socal all my life, and i’ve never enjoyed taking a trip up there. the traffic destroys my patience. the only reason i’d venture my way up there was for E3 back in may. and coming from irvine, i didn’t think that the trip would be that good…but man, did it fucking suck!!! it’s when you exit orange county, and land yourself in sante fe springs does things turn to shit. i mean, come on!! a 3 lane freeway into downtown LA, and no carpool lane either?! what the fuck!!! and with gay davis cutting our budget, I-5 isn’t getting any retrofitting anytime soon. fuck LA…
You think LA is bad?You think LA is bad? Come to Detroit sometime, than we’ll talk. LA is squeaky clean compared to Detroit.In Detroit it’s not the immigrants you have to worry about understanding it’s the billion homeless people with no teeth.Of course, they don’t drive cars either.
Larry ParkerI met his daughter on a train from LA to San Luis Obispbo. She was ok in the looks department. I had no idea who Larry Parker was and she explained to me that he was mentioned in the (then) new Ice Cube Album – Predator.
about asiansThe guy wasn’t trying to bribe you. That’s how they take care of accidents in China/Taiwan. They pay cash money in hand and that’s the end of it. People are startingto have insurance now, but accidents are typically settled right then and there. And as for other countries not speaking English, that guy is an idiot. English is the international language and many people study from their childhood on.