From Cap’n Terror: Rabbi Yells “Cut!” Over Porn Flick
Yesterday, Tight Fit Productions of Van Nuys, Calif., the purveyors of “Assraelis,” which was shot entirely in Israel with all-local talent, and in Hebrew (with, uh, English subtitles), received a cease-and-desist order letter from a lawyer representing Rabbi Yehuda Rosenbaum of KOF-K Kosher Certification, a New Jersey company that puts its stamp of approval on Kosher goods. Tight Fit’s DVD-cover claim of Israeli authenticity is accompanied by a Hebrew letter normally reserved for rabbi-ordained meats, grains, and other foodstuffs.
KOF-K’s lawyer says that Tight Fit is using the symbol “illegally” in violation of State and Federal Law, and plans to sue “if the situation is not rectified as quickly as possible.” Oren Cohen, the owner of Tight Fit, finds the action “funny,” but will modify the cover art before the film’s release next week — to satisfy what he calls the “very nice” rabbis.
No word from Cohen, who himself does not observe the Kashrut, on whether, despite their Kosher claims, meat and milk products were mixed during the making of “Assraelis.”
OK, you know the drill. Best pun for the situation wins. I’ll start us off:
So was it denied Kosher status because of all the porking?
Now you do better.
They want to beat their rabbi-ordained meat?
Not Kosher? But it was slit right!
So the Sausage isn’t Kosher…what about the fish’n lips?
OR…
One could argue Cock is Kosher…it’s all in way it’s slobbered.
There will be no eating of the camel… toe.
it’s not like there eating red-blooded american
Porn, the other white meat.
Hi Mr. and Mrs. Berg i am sorry to hear of the loss of your son. You guys will always be in my heart and prayers. From what i have read about your son he seems like he was a nice man, and nice parents. when i heared of the news in school i was completely heartbroken and i never in my whole entire life heard of anything like it. i was so mad that day it was like he was my brother or relative. again i say i am sorry about your lost but in away he is my brother in the eyes of GOD!!!!
Love you guys i will continue to pray for you.
^^ What?
Also, Israeli girls are gorgeous.
To be accurate and fair, the rabbi only asked that the “uncut” version not be released.