Well, before you get too excited, it is Taco Bell food, which, according to any self-respecting USDA scientist, is slightly above rocks and a bit below pokemon cards in nutritional value.
Barry Bonds could end up feeding the nation during the San Francisco Giants’ coming World Series home stand if he launches one of his trademark home runs onto a target set up by Taco Bell in the cove behind the right-field fence at Pacific Bell Park.
Taco Bell is installing a 15-foot diameter floating target in McCovey Cove where kayakers and row boaters often bob up and down waiting for a classic Bonds splash down. If Bonds, or any other player from the Giants or the Anaheim Angels, hits the floating target with a home run ball, everyone in America is entitled to a free taco, the food chain proclaimed Monday. [Story]
But it is free, dammit. (though I get the feeling it is “free” as in the type advertised in FREE AOL!—It could possibly be called “free”, if the definition of free was changed to mean “trading your dignity for a shitty, overpriced ISP contract with a shitty, overvalued company”. Though here you could keep a little dignity and possibly get a taco.)
So, I pretty much suck at the baseball lore, tell me baseball mofos, is this one of those gimmicks like hitting a hole in one on a par 5, the prize is up there because it is pretty much theoretically impossible and if you were to pull it off you should be carried out of the stadium on the shoulders of your teammates while hordes of fans sing the familiar “he’s a jolly good fellow”? (Or are we having free tacos this week?