Experiments In Evil

I have concocted a new alcoholic beverage, which I must now share with you. However, I must warn you that this new drink, while tasty and incredibly potent, is also very dangerous. In fact, I am convinced that this drink’s sole purpose is to get the drinker quickly intoxicated, and then into the bathroom to make an offering to the porcelein god. I made this drink as a tasty treat for the lil’ woman and I, and while we both found it quite the culinary delight, about one hour later our stomachs were not quite the pinnacle of fortification. Let me run down the ingredients, and I will share my theories on why such a disturbing gastrointestinal response occurred. I'm a shaker of evil!

Drink Recipe: “Kill ‘Em With Kindness” (I take great pride in the cleverness of that name)

Ingredients:
2 shots Vodka
4-5 shots Irish Creme, I recommend a caramel flavor in leiu of Baileys
3 shots Maple Syrup
5-6 shots Milk

This is a spinoff of the delicious White Russian. I had a friend who liked popping a half shot of Hershey’s syrup into one to make it into a more dessert type drink, and I felt like feeding one to the girlfriend as a sort of frou-frou delicacy. When faced with a critical lack of ingredients, namely the Hershey’s syrup, I improvised. I knew that caramel and maple syrup ran pretty close together on the taste scale, so I threw a shot or two into the mix. What do you know, all of the sudden the drink took on an entirely different flavor. Even I was impressed enough to partake in a couple of these delicious drinks. However, the vomit reflex an hour later was no doubt attributed to the massive amounts of maple syrup now floating in my system. These ingredients, while tasty, are a volatile mixture. Use only on those who you would enjoy watching puke their dinner into the toilet. Happy trails.

I know. It sounds gross, but trust me, it tasted great. Basically you put in the two shots of vodka into a good sized glass with two ice cubes. Then you fill the glass to halfway with the creme liquer. Then add the few shots of maple syrup, stir vigorously so the syrup doesnt coat the bottom, then fill it almost to the top with milk. Then taste it. If it seems to have not enough vodka, add that. Not enough sweetness, add liquer and syrup. Serve, and enjoy as your friends get plastered very quickly, and sent to the toilet with the same swiftness.

Published
Categorized as News

By Sharkey

I run bamf.

5 comments

  1. planning is keySounds like something best done at someone else’s party. Preferably one you crashed and know nobody.I can see it now. Just walk in to some random party, mix up a couple of pitchers, and pass around liberally. Pretend to drink our own, and wait for the a comedy gold (more tan this time)to ensue. Just make sure to leave before someone figures out you + drink = \”Technocolor Yawn\”

  2. Kahlua not Irish CremeUnderstood that you were using Irish Creme cause thats what you had, but in case of previous lack of knowledge, a white russian uses kahlua, vodka and milk.

  3. I got to try this at New YearsLet me see: Party. Check. Don’t know anyone. Check. Plenty of booze. Check. All I need to do is make sure there’s some syrup 🙂 Luckily, it’s a 2 bathroom house…

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *